10 Important Things I Was Told As A Child

1.  If you want something, go and get it: I was taught that nothing was impossible as long as I was ready to work for it.

2.  Enjoy your childhood: Boy did I take that advice and run with it! Good times :)

3.  Not everyone can be your friend: I accepted from an early age that some people would like me and some wouldn't so I never wasted time or tears on the latter.

4.  You are black: This may seem like a pointless statement but in order to survive institutional racism, the colour of my skin and the prejudices that came with that had to be highlighted.

5.  Knowledge is power and therefore an education is essential: My parents never told me what to study or which knowledge would benefit me but they instilled the hunger for knowledge in me and it has served me well.

6.  The things you do today will affect your tomorrow: This made me think twice before doing anything stupid.

7.  Common sense is more important that getting A's at school: Common sense really isn't common. 

8.  Seize every opportunity: This is probably the best advice I was given by someone outside my family, namely, a teacher. Taking this advice to heart has allowed me to lead an amazing life with so many unconventional experiences.

9.  It's not everything that you see that you must say: Some things are just not meant to be passed on.

10. I love you just the way you are: This was hammered into my head before I would reply 'I love you too' and has allowed me to always remain confident in who I am as a person. 

10 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me As A Child

1. Don't throw away good bras, breast size changes throughout your life: I have a bit of an obsession with lingerie and have spent a small fortune on bras. If only someone had told me that my bra size would fluctuate I wouldn't have given away my good (and expensive!) bras. *sigh*

2. Failure is a part of life: When you are a high achiever and good at everything you do, parents are so busy encouraging you that they forget to tell you that one day, in whatever aspect of your life, you will fail and that it's ok as long as you get back up again.

3. Graduating from university does not mean automatic success: I'm sure many people can relate to this one. You are encouraged to do so well academically and to get an education but nobody tells you anything about life after graduation.

4. How to make AND keep money: Most people's answer to this is still "Get a job and save." I can assure you that that is not the answer.

5. Your 20s are for getting it together: Somewhere along the line we learned that if we didn't have it all figured out by 21 we had somehow failed society. Having babies you can't afford in a marriage based on puppy love and no real way of covering your student loans only equals a very difficult and unnecessarily stressful life. Take your time!

Normal thoughts for a 21 year old

6. There's no such thing as the perfect relationship but there are many examples of bad relationships: Time and time again I see people putting up with absolute nonsense in their relationships all because "No relationship is perfect so you have to settle", many have even suggested I do the same! Joke's on you.

7. Don't throw away clothes just because they are no longer the 'in' style: In our lifetimes we'll see old fashions come back at least once. Has anyone else seen bootcut jeans making a comeback?

8. Honesty is the best policy BUT sometimes silence is even better: If I had been told this I would have held back on being honest in many situations and would have saved myself a lot of hassle. I have learned that people do not like hearing the truth even if they ask for it.

9. Everyone's idea of 'success' is different: Some people believe that they are not successful until they have a six figure balance in the bank and others, more apparent since the birth of bridal accounts on Instagram (no names!), believe that success is in the size of the ring and/or wedding. It's ok to have your own idea of success and you are not 'unsuccessful' for not achieving standards set by others.

10. Not everyone thinks like you: This seems so obvious but, how many times have you been disappointed by the friend you thought would do for you what you would do for them? Exactly.

'Talking White' and 'Average Black Girl'

First of all, there is no such thing as 'Talking White', 'white' is not a language.

The fact that stereotypical 'ghetto behaviour' is what many people associate with being black and that anyone who doesn't conform to this stereotype is seen as a sell out is simply disgusting. In the words of Nas:

"Before we came to this country

We were kings and queens, never porch monkeys!

There were empires in Africa called Kush

Timbuktu, where every race came to get books

To learn from black teachers who taught Greeks and Romans"

'I Can' from the 'God's Son' album

Even in history books (as modified as they may be) my ancestors were educated people. Black people as a whole have struggled for too many years and shed too much blood in order for us to be entitled to an education outside of the mother land; to have the European languages we have been educated in spoken incorrectly makes all their efforts seem futile. The funniest thing is that the people who accuse others of 'Talking White' are the same people who can't speak any language (African) that would allow them to 'Talk Black'! *rolls eyes*

Secondly, 'An average black girl'? What does that even mean? In an ethnicity with so many variations in shade, background and culture what does the 'average' look like?

I don't know what black women did to receive so much backlash from the world. Time and time again they have been the backbone and support system to changing history and to creating amazing men as both mothers and wives. Through all storms black women have stood firm, unwavering in their determination to make the next generation better, yet somehow, the people they have been so strong for have become the same people who have shown the most disdain for them. I'm not saying black women should be worshipped but definitely appreciated, if not by the whole world, at least by fellow black people.

I wish more black people would embrace the greatness and strength of our people instead of constantly trying to find a way to belittle and segregate one another. Can we just live?!

Not rude, honest...