Hair Discrimination

Those who know me know that I love a good haircut and I have cut my hair on several occasions, both DIY and professionally. Since being natural, I've always had my hair straightened before getting it cut but this time I decided I was going to do something different. In essence I wanted a second big chop but as I don't have the cojones to rock an Amber Rose, I decided I would go for something slightly longer but just as stylish.

I wish I was that brave.

So there I was looking for a good hairdresser who could cut natural hair in its natural state and I soon learned something: the prices were discriminatory. I searched in both the UK and the USA and learned one thing: hairdressers that cater to black hair sometimes charge three times as much to cut natural hair as they do to cut straight/relaxed hair!

At first I was sure I was doing something wrong, surely an Afro hairdresser wouldn't charge more to cut my hair just because it was in its natural state, that would be ridiculous right? Wrong! Every single price list I looked up online and quote I called in to obtain showed a huge discrepancy in price. In some instances I even found that getting my hair washed, straightened and cut would be cheaper than a wash and cut on natural hair!

The salon/hairdresser/hair shop has historically been somewhat of a sanctuary for black women, a place where we go knowing that there's an unspoken solidarity, that this was the only locale that could 'handle' our hair and that the fact that you were here meant that regardless of shade, you were black. 

Black salon culture depicted in "How To Get Away With Murder"

It's bad enough that as black women we face discrimination in EVERY instance from other ethnicities and that within our own ethnicity we deal with colourism, but to walk into an Afro salon and be told that they are unable to dress natural hair or that you have to pay two to three times as much unless you opt for a form of straightening procedure is simply unacceptable! Every hairdresser/stylist in an Afro hair salon should know how to dress natural hair, treatments like relaxers and dyes are optional, what grows out of our scalp is not, that should be their basic hair dressing skills.

Naysayers will say I'm over reacting or that it's not that big a deal but it is a big deal when someone with a silkier texture or a looser curl pattern isn't required to straighten their hair before getting it cut, or when said customer is not required to pay a 'it's too kinky' charge! #ThatIsAll #RantOver

Favourite Bands

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

As you all must know by now, I'm a HUGE 90's music fan and although the musical draught I've been feeling since 2004 seems to be coming to an end and I'm finally starting to enjoy 'newbies' music (any artist/song after 2002/3), the 90's will always have my heart.

A while ago I wrote a post about my favourite artists promising to follow up with my favourite bands (all from the 90's and late 80's of course!). Well here is my promise fulfilled (albeit nearly 3 years later!).

A time before internet and social media detectives *side eye*, watching music videos to learn song lyrics and choreographies was one of the most enjoyable childhood activities  to partake in. Musician's gained fans by how amazing their videos were and they did not disappoint. I know that in this day and age, where HD videos can be produced on your phone, these videos may appear to be poor quality but understand that in the 90's these were simply AMAZING! Standing on a ceiling? Whoa?!

I am a HUGE Spice Girls fan and the high kick in this video embedded 'Say You'll Be There' into my heart. 

The kids (people born in the late 90's and later) probably don't know that Justin Timberlake was part of a great band called N*Sync but my bestie and I have reenacted their songs and choreographies many a time over the years during our girls night ins; 'Bye Bye Bye' is definitely our party trick! Lol!

Although the Spice Girls have the number 1 spot in my heart, at 1.01 there is Destiny's Child. I've loved DC through their band member changes (I recently had to give my not so little brother a history lesson on DC since he didn't know there were originally 4 members) but this video will always be my favourite. LaToya's face + Kelly's hair + LaTavia's attitude + Beyoncé's ad-libs = Destity's Child perfection!

You can't discuss 90's choreography without including Dru Hill, they gave swag a whole new meaning! As this is a soundtrack video it's definitely not their best but I absolutely love 'How Deep Is Your Love For Me'.

Backstreet Boys were already mega famous but when they released 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back)' it became a children's party anthem.

We can't talk about girl bands without mentioning the most iconic of them all, TLC. They broke records with their talent and unconventional style. Also known for great choreography, this song in particular became a favourite worldwide - 'No Scrubs'. Rest in peace Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes ♥

Boyz II Men are synonymous with 'harmonies' and have some of the most beautiful voices I've heard to date. To say I had one favourite song would be lying but here's their most popular song, 'I'll Make Love To You'.

Before Kandi Burruss went on to become a 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' star and to write hit songs (she wrote Destiny's Child 'Bills Bills Bills' and co-wrote 'No Scrubs' with band member Tiny who is now also a reality TV star), Kandi was a member of a group called Xscape and although the song 'You're My Little Secret' is trifling as hell, I love it!

Jagged Edge have a great discography but I think everyone will agree that 'Walked Outta Heaven' is R&B gold.

The band Jodeci produced one of the greatest R&B duo's of all time (K-Ci & Jojo for the children in the room) and their song 'All My Life' is an all time wedding favourite.

'Weak' is probably the song that comes to mind when SWV comes up however, 'Can We (Get Freaky Tonight)' featuring Missy Elliott is by far my SWV favourite.

There are no words to express the impact 'Killing Me Softly' by The Fugees had on the summer of '96, you just had to be there.

So there you have it, some of the best bands and songs to grace the Earth. Can you guys tell that I'm greatly missing the days of R&B? Lol! Also, did you notice that all these songs have some seriously 'grown' lyrics? At the time I sang along blissfully unaware of the real meaning behind these songs.

The 90's seem to be making a comeback in both fashion and music but it will never be the same; it's a good thing, some things are better experienced only once.

Au Naturel Update (Products)

Let me start by saying that I'm officially a product junkie. Lol!

I have spent a small fortune on hair products since going natural but in 2013 I upgraded from 'Natural Hair Journey' to 'Healthy Hair Journey' so a lot of products have been set aside (they contained non soluble silicones and/or mineral oils) and I spend my money much more wisely. Along the way I've learned that it's not really about which products you use but HOW you use them.

When it comes to products, one of my main deciding factors is 'smell'. If the product smells foul it is not getting purchased! The only exception to this rule is shampoo and only because it's always followed up by a nice smelling conditioner.

I have experimented with making my own products but as I have said in my Journey and Regimen update, I'm lazy when it comes to hair so I'd rather just buy it. The only thing I still enjoy making are deep conditioners, I am yet to find the perfect deep conditioner in a bottle. Here is a list of my favourite products.

Shampoos 

• Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo
• Dudu Osun/Black Soap

             

Conditioners

I make an avocado, banana, coconut milk, oil mix (any 3 I feel like at the time) and honey deep conditioner but I also buy a few for lazy days and co-washes.

• Giovanni 50:50 Balanced Hydrating-Calming Conditioner
• As I Am Coconut CoWash Cleansing Conditioner
• Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Moisturising Conditioner
• TRESemmé Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner

                   

                            

Leave-in Conditioners

• Kinky Curly Knot Today Leave-in/Detangler
• Giovanni Direct Leave-in Weightless Moisture Conditioner
• KimmayTube Recipe - 2tbsp leave-in conditioner (one of the above), 2tbsp aloe vera juice, 2tsp castor oil, 2tsp oil of choice

                            

Moisturisers (water based products)

• Oyin Handmade Hair Dew Daily Hair Quenching Lotion
• Shea Moisture Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie

                          

Creams (not water based)

• Organic Unrefined Shea Butter
• Carol's Daughter Healthy Hair Butter
• Carol's Daughter Hair Balm

                      

                                                 

Oils

• Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• Jamaican Black Castor Oil
• Organic Coconut Oil
• Vitamin E Oil
• Sweet Almond Oil
• Tea Tree Oil
• Jojoba Oil
• Avocado Oil

             

Styling Products

• Camille Rose Almond Jai Twisting Butter
• Miss Jessie's Curly Buttercreme
• Oyin Handmade Boing! All In One Coil Styler
• Carol's Daughter Loc Butter
• Eco Styler Olive Oil Styling Gel
• Let's Jam Conditioning & Styling Gel (Extra Hold)

                                         

              

                                                  

Spray Bottle Recipe

• Protective style spray: 1/4 conditioner, 1/8 oils (any 3), 1tsp honey, 3 drops tea tree oil and fill with water
• Everyday spray: 1/4 aloe vera juice, 1/8 glycerin and fill with water

Of this list I think only 3 products contain either silicones, parabens, petroleum or mineral oil (Miss Jessie's Curly Buttercreme, Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner and Let's Jam Conditioning & Styling Gel) the rest, I believe, are 100% natural (correct me if I'm wrong!). I plan to find substitutes for these 3 products and if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments below. 

I would also love to hear your experiences with products, things that have helped you on your journey and any recipes you think are a must try. My main issue is moisture retention so any tips with that will be greatly appreciated.

Healthy hair is happy hair :)

Au Naturel Update (Journey & Regimen)

Oh how things have changed! LOL!

Illustration by Keturah Ariel
I love her work!

Some of you will already know from my previous blog that I decided to start transitioning from relaxed (chemically straightened) hair to natural hair; my last relaxer was in October 2010. I decided not to do the big chop (cut off all my hair and wait for it to grow back) because frankly, I was scared I wouldn't be able to carry off the look. Instead I cut off 4 inches of hair for every 2 inches of growth (I was too lazy to stick to the original 1inch plan) and since my hair grows pretty quickly, I had cut off all my relaxed hair by August of 2011. This post is just an update on my journey, my current regimen and useful sources of information that have helped me along the way. I will write a separate post to highlight the products I use.

The Journey

As I stated before "I'm not entirely sure why I decided to go natural, my hair wasn't breaking and I wasn't trying to make a statement (none of that afro centric stuff!), I guess I was just tired of depending on my perm." so I didn't have a goal when going natural. My hair has always been an instrument to looking good so I guess my only aim was to look good with natural hair. It did not work out that way.

I loved my hair and the new texture and curls that had replaced my previously silky straight strands BUT I didn't feel like I looked good. Before y'all jump into a lecture about black women hating themselves and wanting to look white *rolls eyes* let me just state that that is simply not the case. I have never liked big hair on me any more than I have liked heavy make up or knee length skirts,  it's not a race thing, I just don't like it. Whether it be thick layers of Beyoncé style weave or too many flicks and curls, I just can't deal! Believe me, I've tried!

I am simply not comfortable with big hair so you can just imagine how I felt when I looked at myself in the mirror every day and a huge afro stared back at me. I did the only thing I could do without reaching for the creamy crack (relaxer), I got a weave. For three months I  got weave after weave and refused to face my new hair but it was a very short term solution. I hate weaves too. They itch, they make my head sore and the feel of hair that isn't mine on my face and neck was just too much for me to bear! I was stuck between a rock and a hard place - weave or afro? I chose my afro. I hate big hair but I hate weaves more!

Luckily by this point my hair was long enough to go into a comfortable bun with neatly slicked sides. On bad days when my hair refused to co-operate I would do a puff but I felt very self conscious and uncomfortable. I tried braid/twist outs but to date (August 2014) I am yet to have a successful one.
It took me a while to understand that hair had to be treated right to maintain its health, as a permed chick I always had a hairdresser deal with those technicalities but it became my responsibility and boy did I make many mistakes!

Mistake #1: Avoiding water - I grew up, like most black girls, believing water was bad for your hair. As a natural I avoided water because of the shrinkage, I lose 50%-75% of my hair length when my hair is wet so in order to avoid a tangled mess I avoided water. Now I know better and dampen my hair at least once every two days.

My relationship with water explained
 in a picture lol

Mistake #2: Heat - I have had to cut my hair on two occasions as a result of heat damage. I used to blow-dry my hair straight after every wash when I first went natural (habit from my relaxed days) which meant I had to cut off nearly 7 inches at the end of 2012. Not realizing it was the heat that gave me those hideous ends I continued my blow drying method, albeit less frequently, so by May 2013 I had to cut off another 5 inches. By this time I had started following a few natural haired ladies and realized that heat was a no no so I went a year (May 2013 to May 2014) without any heat and the results were awesome. I did a 3 inch trim in June 2014 as a result of split ends (residual from the head damage I assume) and now my hair looks and feels great.

Heat styling tools - these were my best
friends *covers face*

Mistake #3: Believing my hair couldn't be soft - I don't know where I got this idea from but I guess I just assumed that only people with relaxed hair or silkier textures had soft hair. Since learning how to properly maintain hair moisture my hair has felt heavenly! Probably the best thing I've learned since going natural, if my hair is not soft it's definitely moisture deprived.

Type 'soft hair' in Google images.
No comment.

Mistake #4: Laziness - As I said earlier, my hairdresser dealt with protein/moisture balances and hair maintenance, all I had to do was show up and pay! Going natural made all that my responsibility and boy was I lazy! I often went to bed with no headscarf/bonnet, ignored moisturising, all the while complaining about dryness and once my Senegalese twists were in, my hair was ignored for 5-6 weeks at a time! *covers face* All this resulted in so much 'repair' work that I just had to change my ways and schedule hair maintenance days (I have a busy life and wash day takes forever) to ensure things never got too bad. I'm much better but I still have a lot to learn.

There is a myth that natural hair = healthy hair and this is NOT TRUE! I learned that the hard way :(

By 2013 I had accepted that my minimalist approach to hair wasn't doing me any favours and that if I wanted to look good with natural hair I would have to actually put effort into it. I had seen some Youtubers say they washed their hair 3 times a week and each wash took them 9 hours! That was NEVER going to be me! I have a life and a career and one day I will also have kids, no way was I going to get into a habit of spending 27 hours a week on hair washing alone!
I decided to learn what was essential and try to squeeze it all into a once a week routine. Based on the knowledge I obtained I built up my current regimen and I am happy with it. 

Wash Day Regimen

• Pre-poo: Apply coconut oil and detangle the night before. Cover with shower cap  and satin bonnet then go to bed

• Rinse out coconut oil and co-wash

• Apply deep conditioner, cover with shower cap and towel, leave in for 45-90 minutes (on a really lazy day I leave it in for up to 3 hours! *covers face*)

• Rinse out deep conditioner. Blot out excess water with a t-shirt and apply leave-in conditioner

• Allow to air dry till hair is no longer wet, but still damp and use LOC (Liquid, Oil, Cream) method

• Style and/or air dry

Once a month I also shampoo with a sulfate free shampoo. I have previously tried Apple Cider Vinegar rinses but I didn't notice any benefits. Upon further research I discovered that since I have low porosity hair, ACV isn't optimal for my hair's moisture absorption so I just cut it out all together (I didn't need asking twice! Lol!).

I still get lazy but I try to ensure I wash my hair at least once in 10 days and I now know when my hair needs attention. I haven't perfected the art of "listening to your hair" but by keeping this regimen my hair has definitely become more manageable and there's less fighting before getting it into a neat bun.
Hair Details

Using several sources I was able to determine some characteristics to my hair :

1. Hair Type: 4B/C - The front and crown of my head is 4B while the back and sides are 4C. This makes it a nightmare when using products and probably why twist/braid outs never look quite right.
2. Hair Porosity: Low - This makes it a nightmare to absorb moisture and product build up is a constant battle. I deep condition with body heat to increase absorption.
3. Hair Density: Medium - I have to go easy on hair butters otherwise I end up with limp  & lifeless hair.
4. Hair Width: Medium/Coarse - This is great because I'm not affected by breakage, my strands are quite resistant.
5. Current Hair Length: Between shoulder and armpit length - I've never been big on hair length (more hair, more problems) but I have set myself a goal to become bra strap length by August 2015, I'll keep you updated. 

Hair Length Chart

                           

                                         With assistance from my lil bro -
                                           nearly armpit length (June 2014)

Understanding my hair properties made wash day, styling and buying products much easier. Even if the Youtuber's hair LOOKS like yours, something as small as a difference in porosity will mean you don't get the same results as her with products and/or styles.

Texture shots - 4B/C right? 
The shrinkage is crazy!

Natural hair is a lot of work compared to relaxed hair and I still have A LOT of bad hair days. I don't know if I will ever go back to relaxers but for now I'm happy to keep experimenting with my natural hair. Below are a list of some of my favourite Youtube channels and blogs, hopefully you'll find them as helpful as I did.

Youtube 

SimplYounique - My favourite natural hair channel and her hair type is the closest to mine. She recently relaxed her hair so she may start focusing on the maintenance of relaxed hair. (UPDATE 19/08/2014: She has big chopped for the second time!)
KimmayTube - Good for understanding the science of hair
AfrikanHairGod - Great for styles and general hair maintenance
FusionofCultures - Great for DIY recipes
TheChicNatural - Has great styling tutorials

Blogs

http://www.curlynikki.com
http://www.naturallycurly.com
http://kinkycurlycoilyme.com
http://blackgirllonghair.com

More Keturah Ariel art
I'm at 2 but my goal is 3 by 2015 :)

Healthy hair is happy hair :)

Girl Crush

I'm one of those females that when faced with a beautiful woman will go up to her and tell her so. Sometimes I get a weird look like 

<<< "I hope this girl is not hitting on me, I'm not a lesbian!"

Other times I approach girls that know how pretty they are. >>>

<<< A few times I got the "I didn't know I was that cute!" look but more often than not it's just shock "Omg, she's not hating on me!" >>>

I really appreciate beauty and I have no problem letting someone know that I think they look good or that I like their outfit. I have a girl crush on quite a few celebrities, nothing sexual but if I had to be reincarnated (I don't believe in reincarnation by the way!) I wouldn't mind looking like them.

Kelly Rowland

As you all probably already know from my previous post, I think Ms. Rowland puts the 'b' in beautiful.

Eva Longoria

People are forever telling me I'm blind on this one but I don't care, Eva is a hot spice! 

             

Nia Long

Age is this woman's best friend! Even at 40 years of age Nia is still one of the most beautiful and sexy women in the business!

                       

Gabrielle Union

We can't discuss beauty without mentioning Gabby, she's all kinds of gorgeous!

                  

Kristin Kreuk

This pretty young lady graced our screens as Lana Lang in the 'Superman' based TV series 'Smallville' and was later the face of 'Neutrogena'. Her exotic looks are just captivating.

                          

Jada Pinkett

I just love Mrs. Smith and I'm glad that since I have to share Will, it's with someone as gorgeous as her.

             

Eva Marcille 

Previously known as Eva Pigford, this America's Next Top Model winner looks amazing no matter what crazy hair colour she chooses to go with.

                                  

Christina Milian

I've always thought this little lady was pretty, I dunno what Dream was thinking by letting her go.

  

Lisa Raye McCoy

This woman has an amazing body and a gorgeous face to match. Can u believe she's 45 years old!?

 

Stacey Dash

Stacey is another woman who's made age her best friend. I don't mind ageing if I can keep my youthful looks like she did!

         

Bre Scullark


Another America's Next Top Model contestant (I love the show!) who's beauty stayed with me after the show was over. Her graceful demeanour and stunning features made for an instant crush! And she has gorgeous hair!

           

I bet you're all shocked that Rihanna wasn't on my list! I'm probably the only female on the planet that doesn't have a girl crush on  her lol! But yeah, here's my top 11 (couldn't quite narrow it down to 10 lol) girl crushes. I have a few more but you'd be scrolling down for hours, it was hard enough picking only two pictures for each crush!  


Ladies do you have a girl crush? If so, who is she?