Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Little Miss Chatterbox

Hey guys!

I've noticed that my posts have been getting longer and longer but I really can't help it! I'm a chatterbox in real life so it's only natural that my blog posts reflect that! :-P
Personally I like reading and I think a long post helps set the mood but I must admit that for the non-readers the length might be a bit much. The main purpose of my blog is to empty my mind HOWEVER I also use it to let you guys know how I feel about the topics I write about so if the length is off-putting please let me know and I'll try to cut it down, the last thing I want to be is boring!

ANYWAY leave a comment to let me know how you feel, I'll see what I can do ;-)

Not rude, honest...

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

There's a common misconception among the teens and young adults of today that respect is received automatically and doesn't need to be earned. Well to those confused individuals - you're wrong! And to those who try to gain respect the wrong way (e.g. guns, illegal money, threats...) - you're just stupid! 
The following actions will earn you no respect from me but seem to be the current guidelines for gaining respect in our confused society:

  • Calling yourself a Boss or HBIC -Head Bitch In Charge
  • Lies
  • Slang
  • Being a gangster
  • A famous coochie (didn't ya'll know? Whoring is now cool!)
  • A potty mouth
  • Going on about your 'grind' 
  • Classlessness
  • Permanent unemployment
  • Expecting things in life to be free
  • Inability to spell
  • Expensive weave 
  • A nice car
  • Uneducated individuals
  • No sense of responsibility a.k.a. wasteman/girl
  • Illegal activities of any kind 
  • Knowing all the bouncers at the clubs
  • Knowing everyone (really though, who does that even impress?)
  • Being good looking (that's God's praise not yours!)
  • Going to the gym
  • Spending lots of money at the bar
  • Expensive clothes (9 out of 10 times the LV is bought with illegal money)
  • Irresponsible parents/being a bad example to your kids
  • Having jail time on your CV
  • Being 25 and over with no sense of life direction
  • Being a dog player 
  • Wasted potential
  • Having an iphone/Blackberry (what are we? 10!?)
  • Believing your own hype
  • Surrounding yourself with people who are worst off than you to make you feel good about yourself
  • Being good with the mouth a.k.a. smooth talkers

Please Note: Just because I don't disrespect you doesn't mean I respect you!

That is all.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Catch A Grenade

I don't know if you guys have heard Bruno Mars' song called 'Grenade' but as a friend of mine nicely put it "Grenade? I wouldn't even catch a cold for you!" LOL!
Don't get me wrong I'm a romantic at heart but as much as I like the idea and the melody of this song I have to agree with Kingsley on this one!


Not rude, honest...

Bounty

For  those of you that don’t know what a Bounty (like the chocolate) is, it's a person who to the rest of the world is black but in their head they are white! Other synonyms for this include Oreo and coconut. With these people I just want to say “Excuse me, do you realise that your friends Amy and Tom here know you’re black?" Or better yet “Refusing to lotion in order to make your skin white and flaky does not make you white, just dry!” 

Can you imagine I met a guy who to me and you is black but had the cheek to tell me he fills in applications as other! The issue I have with this is that these confused individuals have the cheek to display an attitude of superiority because they have refused their heritage! If a person of a different race displayed the same attitude, the racism card would be out in no time!

But what annoys me more than bounty’s are the black men who cannot stand black women, and vice versa. The Dream (a dumb rapper) made a statement that went something like “Dark girls look like their skin is burnt and if she can’t get her hair wet then she’s no good” Please do me a favour and google this guy for me. Does he or does he not look black? So where the hell does he get off saying such nonsense about his own race? Regardless of whether he has a mixed heritage his appearance indicates he has some black in there!

I have no issues with interracial relationships, my family is from all over the place, but it’s one thing to be genuinely attracted to a person of another race and another to date another race because you hate your own! The problem I think these people have is that they don’t seem to understand that being black is not describing your heritage as it is your skin tone. If your skin tone is on a certain side of brown you are a black person, no point telling me your heritage indicates otherwise, it’s irrelevant.

I know there are issues with the quality of life you get as a black person but that’s a whole different ball game. The point I am trying to make is that if you are a black person, or for those who cannot fathom the thought, a black LOOKING person then to society you are black, regardless of how mixed your gene pool may be and the idea that people like the Dream think it’s ok to publicly show a racist attitude to his own kind is nothing short of disgusting. Is there any point in even mentioning the atrocity that is now Vybz Kartel? Once again I quote Bossip - 'God take the wheel' SMH.



That is all.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Armelo Carmelo

So I finished my 4 page letter rant about Things I Hate and I needed a laugh. I'm pretty sure every girl with a FB page can relate to this - inbox messages from strangers. For some weird and unknown reason, men from a totally different country to you and with whom you have absolutely no chance of ever meeting decide to send you inbox messages suggesting you get to know each other. Now unless they are hoping to obtain a red passport (or green card as the case may be) which is very unlikely to happen, I really don't see why they bother!

But anyway - a year or so ago I received the most hilarious of inboxes ever and I saved it for days just like this where I need to get my recommended 15 minutes of laughter a day, it just doesn't get old! His name is Armelo Carmelo (the giggles start here!) and he felt he had to impress me with his grammar, enjoy! :-D

Armelo Carmelo 17 August 2009 at 13:13 Report

your picture is very emblematic
your face like a princess of soul
In a great world
Yours eyes of peace
Your sweet lips charistimatic than a star
your encyclopedic smile
Your human being very noble than a richess
With your size prophetic
Your are very, pretty girl...
Armelo

Armelo Carmelo 19 August 2009 at 15:46 Report
I see just your face
When I am alone at hone
 
I think about for your face
When I walk
I see just your image
Before I take my breakfast
I must to see you picture
In night when I go to bed
I pray God just for your face
Your face do cry my heart
Your image like a light of soul
The soul who's give the happiness
 
Happiness that you have a magic face and ancyclopedic smile...

Armelo in your face

Things I Hate


I saw this video a few months ago and I found it totally hilarious. Today I feel exactly like he does so I’m going to state the 15 things that I absolutely can’t stand. In no particular order here goes:


1.       Barbies – I’m not talking about the doll (I still go to Hamley’s to see the collector’s display!), I’m talking about these girls who feel the need to transform in the morning! A friend of mine recently described a girl as Pikachu and it is so true! They have these unnaturally red cheeks, foundations that don’t suit their complexion, lashes of an elephant, nails that compete with Wolverine, eyebrows that look like permanent marker pen and they top it all off with lion mane hair!!! The sick joke is that they think they look pretty!!! Are you kidding me??? When’s Ashton Kutcher going to shout "Punk’d"? These same girls then ridicule Lady Gaga! Do they not realise that Gaga looks like a nun compared to them!? Now I know everyone is free to do whatever they want but aren’t there laws against abuse and battery? I feel emotionally and psychologically abused and my eyes are constantly being battered, I think I need a lawyer...


2.      Rude children – Don’t you just hate it when a child is rude and disrespectful? And it’s even worse when they have a ‘My child would never...’ parent! People beware, if your child is rude to me I may just have to teach them manners #NoLongTing


3.      Big talkers – Talking does nothing but exhaust the Earth’s oxygen supply, want to make a point? SHOW it to me!


4.      Underground celebrities – This is the term I use for those people who think they are a somebody because they have thousands of friends and followers on social networks and their Blackberry pin is on Google. Guess what? You’re still a nobody! Maybe if you spent more time making a real impact on the world and spent less time stunting in the clubs you may actually become a somebody and give your life more meaning, just a thought...


5. Excuses – I can’t stand people that constantly make excuses for their actions/circumstances. People have done/been through worse and they overcame so your pitiful excuses for failure is just that – an excuse.

6.      "Models" – I love me some Jordin Dunn, Cindy Crawford and Alek Wek but I cannot stand this trend where every girl that thinks they look good in a body con dress and is able to borrow Indian hair weave thinks they are a model! Ya’ll are an insult to the industry! Some of these girls have great figures but a great figure and a model’s figure isn't the same thing. Having boobs and a butt doesn’t make you Gisele and if they jiggle then you may want to hit the gym before even displaying such goods. It’s even worse when the girl in question looks like a hippo or a bodybuilder in a dress! Are you taking the piss? Even if your friends lied to you, did the fact that you’re a size 18 slip your mind? Ladies taking a good picture doesn’t make you a model so please spare us the ‘aspiring model’ speech and go find yourself a new trade.


7.       Breast displays – I know I've said this before but I’m going to say it again – if you have big boobs they are already in everyone’s face, you do not need to have them falling out your top/dress to prove they are there! It’s just so tacky! Ergh!


8.       Fake people – I don’t think I will ever get why people like to act like schizophrenics and display multiple personalities. It’s simple – be you! Why spend precious days in your life pretending to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like someone don’t associate with them; if you are not a ‘baller’ then don’t try to live the lifestyle in borrowed clothes and stolen cash; if you don’t want to be with someone don’t cheat, just let them go and be with who you do want to be with; if you feel your life isn't what you want it to be don’t lie about, it just work at making the life you want. It’s pretty simple to me, I don’t know why so many people find it so hard.


9.       Expensive hoes – There’s this new set of women who are as bad as the common hoe but pretend to have class by hiding behind a LV bag bought for them by the highest bidder of their ****. You don’t fool me, a hoe’s a hoe and class isn't a part of the job description #NotInterested


10.   Pointless Liars – I know everybody lies in one way or another, whether its white lies, for-the-best lies, spare-your feelings lies, lying by omission or save-my-butt lies but the type I really can’t stand is the  for-no-reason lies! There are some people that just feel the need to spin you a story for absolutely NO REASON! These type of liars are normally really bad at it and are not consistent which means it doesn't take much to find them out. My question is always ‘Why?’. If I asked you something or if I cared then maybe I can see why you may feel the need to lie but otherwise what’s the point? To these type of people whenever you feel the urge to chat s**t to me – DON’T! 


11.    Jack of all trades and master of none – This old school saying describes the headless chickens that are roaming our society. These chickens are trying to be a part of everything all at once and are becoming successful in none. Just a word of advice – focus on one thing, succeed in that field and then go on to the next. What you’re doing now leaves you in waste man/chick category and the ‘I’m so busy’ line isn’t fooling anyone.


12.    Classless people – People with no class or sense of decency just generally annoy me.


13.    Pretend artists – So many people today want to get in the music industry for different reasons, some have a passion for music, some want a route to becoming a diva, others believe it’s easy money, some just don’t know what else to do with their time and a whole bunch of people just want in on the hype. Can someone please explain to me how they will ever become successful in music if you spend more time talking about ‘making it’ than in the studio? O_o


14.    Narcissistic individuals – Some people take statuses and comments to heart just because it happens to coincide with them in one way or another. All I have to say is – no, the world does not revolve around you and even if it did I still wouldn’t be interested. P.S. If I had anything to say to you I’d say it TO you.


15.    Obstructive criticism – In other words ‘enemy of progress’. It’s one thing to have an opinion and it’s another to try to discourage someone from achieving something. There’s a common misconception that only girls are bitchy but I have witnessed guys trying to hinder another guys progress. As a friend you should definitely highlight the negative aspects of your friend’s decision (I know I have!) but at the same time if they wanted someone to stop them from succeeding they would turned to their enemies!  It can be something as subtle as making a joke at your friend’s expense (bitchy boys I see you!) or all out making them feel stupid with your reaction (girls keep your pencil enhanced eyebrows down!). Instead try to offer some encouragement and a solution to any unrealistic aspects of their plan and then maybe one day when they make it they will acknowledge you as the person that believed in them when nobody else would.

There are so many other things that frustrate me on a daily basis but I figured this post was long enough without them! I may let you know all about the rest another time but that’s all for now :-)


Not rude, honest...

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Mr. Right

People think that the reason that women are finding it hard to find Mr. Right is that they don’t know what they want. I don’t agree. I have always had a rough idea of how I wanted my husband to be. When I was younger it was all very physical and obvious qualities like good looking and caring. As I’ve grown older my list has transformed a little and I find that the majority of the things in my list are now inner qualities that cannot be identified on meeting a person.

The problem with this is that the more my list grows and develops the more acutely I am aware that my list may be depicting Mr. Perfect! I am fully aware that nobody is perfect and that compromises will have to be made but when do you draw the line? How many compromises do you make before you realise that the person you’re with is nothing close to the kind of person you wanted to be with?

I have to state that our mums’ were right when they advised us to wait till we are older to have boyfriends/girlfriends. Other than the obvious avoidance of teenage pregnancies, the person you get with at 16 will change and you may find that you are no longer compatible at 25.

Recognizing Mr. Right seems practically impossible these days and women are being forced to settle for less in order to fulfil their family’s expectations of marriage and children or their longing for a companion. Ladies let’s be real, our biological clock IS ticking but is that a good enough reason to get/stay with a guy that even to us is below average?

So let’s do the math - women have until the age of 35 to have their 1st child and avoid complications, you want to know the person pretty well before you start a family (I hope!) and you may need a year between engagement and wedding (planning is serious!) so that means you don’t need to settle till you’re 30!

A friend once said that you cannot expect qualities in a partner that you don’t possess yourself and I fully agree. I’ve heard waste girls saying they want to marry a lawyer! Now it’s all fair and good to aim high but what have you got to offer a lawyer? A person who has been through the hassle of educating themselves, working in a competitive environment and earning their money per hour will not be satisfied with a Remy weave and a Nicki Minaj booty!

Same goes for waste men “I want a good girl to make the wife!” What will an independent pretty girl, with a good figure, who knows how to cook and clean and all that good ish (common qualities appealing to men) want with a two bit hustler, who can’t spell, has no common decency and has slept with everything in a skirt within a 100 mile radius? Spending thousands at a bar of a club in your Gucci belt and fraudulently acquired car really don’t prove you’re a man ready for a serious girl, talk less becoming a husband!

I really don’t know what the solution to this epidemic is (epidemic is a bit extreme now but wait till you see their offspring!) but settling doesn’t seem like the happily ever after everyone is hoping for. Luckily I have met women who found their Mr. Right criteria in a man (the man is not perfect but their checklist is all ticked off!) so I have hope that if women stopped rushing into relationships they may find the man suitable for them.

So until you get to the age of 30, if someone who doesn’t meet your idea of Mr. Right approaches you just say (politely of course!) ‘We are not on the same level so let’s not waste each others’ time, good day!’. You may want to rephrase but you get my drift.

Not rude, honest...


The Cycle

I was speaking to my 15 year old cousin the other day and it broke my heart that she didn’t believe in relationships! In her words: The guy does everything to get you - he calls every day, spends time with you, does everything you like for you and complements you – then you get together and the sweetness lasts until he knows you really like him. After that he starts acting up and you break up with him. He realizes you’re about to leave forever and he starts all his sweetness again. Because you love/like him so much you go back and then the cycle continues.

I have heard this view from many women and the sad reality is that this account is very accurate for most 21st century relationships. Sadly I have to confess that my past relationship may have had something to do with my Little Rock’s view and she has now sworn not to be a victim to ‘The Cycle’ as it is ‘not her portion’!

I am by no means an expert in relationships since I was with the same person for years but from what I have seen happening around me the main problem seems to be this simple quote:

“I wanted him to be more that he was and he wanted me to be less than I am...” (or vice versa of course!)

Sometimes we see potential in a person that they don’t see in themselves and as a result we stick around hoping they will one day fulfil their potential, in the meantime we bring ourselves down to their level and work diligently to somehow make them see it. The reality is that very few people you will meet in this life who are not aware of their potential will ever realize it.

I believe in love. Regardless of the negativity around me I do believe that you can find that person who you can share your life with and your life will be better for it. The main problem I see is that the world has lied to us about love and that has lead to everyone losing focus and forgetting what love is supposed to look and be like. The biggest of these lies I think is “You have to fight for love!”
Love should never require a fight, it should be effortless and comforting not muscle building and soul draining!

So what I said to my Little Rock is “Go back to the basics. The Bible tells us what love looks like so follow that. If any one of these aspects is not fulfilled then it is not real love and you will be lead to ‘The Cycle’”


This passage has been made cheesy by its modern use but everything required for finding true love is right here. Instead of using it as a banner when you think you’ve found it, use it as a map that will lead you to it. 

Live, Love, Laugh...
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