Those who know me know that I love a good haircut and I have cut my hair on several occasions, both DIY and professionally. Since being natural, I've always had my hair straightened before getting it cut but this time I decided I was going to do something different. In essence I wanted a second big chop but as I don't have the cojones to rock an Amber Rose, I decided I would go for something slightly longer but just as stylish.
I wish I was that brave.
So there I was looking for a good hairdresser who could cut natural hair in its natural state and I soon learned something: the prices were discriminatory. I searched in both the UK and the USA and learned one thing: hairdressers that cater to black hair sometimes charge three times as much to cut natural hair as they do to cut straight/relaxed hair!
At first I was sure I was doing something wrong, surely an Afro hairdresser wouldn't charge more to cut my hair just because it was in its natural state, that would be ridiculous right? Wrong! Every single price list I looked up online and quote I called in to obtain showed a huge discrepancy in price. In some instances I even found that getting my hair washed, straightened and cut would be cheaper than a wash and cut on natural hair!
The salon/hairdresser/hair shop has historically been somewhat of a sanctuary for black women, a place where we go knowing that there's an unspoken solidarity, that this was the only locale that could 'handle' our hair and that the fact that you were here meant that regardless of shade, you were black.
Black salon culture depicted in "How To Get Away With Murder"
It's bad enough that as black women we face discrimination in EVERY instance from other ethnicities and that within our own ethnicity we deal with colourism, but to walk into an Afro salon and be told that they are unable to dress natural hair or that you have to pay two to three times as much unless you opt for a form of straightening procedure is simply unacceptable! Every hairdresser/stylist in an Afro hair salon should know how to dress natural hair, treatments like relaxers and dyes are optional, what grows out of our scalp is not, that should be their basic hair dressing skills.
Naysayers will say I'm over reacting or that it's not that big a deal but it is a big deal when someone with a silkier texture or a looser curl pattern isn't required to straighten their hair before getting it cut, or when said customer is not required to pay a 'it's too kinky' charge! #ThatIsAll #RantOver
As I write this post my heart is heavy. I have been feeling a mixture of hurt and rage for the past few hours and I'm still unsure when I will remember to feel anything else. This post may fluctuate in tone as I write it, please bear with me. Also, the videos in this post are quite graphic so view with caution.
As I'm sure you have all heard and seen by now, Alton Sterling was executed by police officers in Baton Rouge, Louisiana on the 5th of July 2016. As we (the public) were trying to decipher the details surrounding the event and processing the reckless way in which his life was taken, news of Philando Castile's murder in Falcon Heights, Minnesota, again, by a trigger happy police officer on the 6th of July 2016, began to spread. Philando, who was pulled over for a broken tail light, was shot in front of his girlfriend and 4 year old daughter.
Rest in peace Philando Castile & Alton Sterling
In all of this, the National Rifle Association of America (NRA) who typically would have been all over this case due to the unlawful shooting of a man who is licensed to carry a firearm, are nowhere to be found. Why you ask? Well it's pretty obvious, Philando Castile is black and "gun ownership is largely built on white identity".
I usually steer clear of social media when world events happen because I find the trolls and ignoramuses very draining but today I needed the comfort of knowing that I wasn't alone in my grief. I can't tell you what it was about Alton Sterling's murder that hit me more than the countless others but whatever it was cut deeper than any event before. Although the video is graphic, I am not new to blood and death and therefore not as affected by those aspects as your average Joe might be.
What did affect me could be the fact that as soon as I saw the police in that video clip I knew Alton was going to die. Or the fact that they treated him so aggressively before the shooting. Or maybe it was the ease with which the police officers removed their guns from their holsters and placed them directly on Alton's chest. Or the fact that poor Alton who was pressed down by the weight of two police officers was expected to lay completely still after just having the wind knocked out of him. Or it could have been that as a black woman I know that Alton was fully aware of what a perilous situation he was in and therefore probably only shifted slightly because it was absolutely necessary to free up his airway. Or the fact that the officers who had the guns held at point blank range on Alton's chest felt that one bullet through a vital organ in his chest cavity wasn't enough and therefore felt the need to fire 5-6 shots in order to 'feel safe'.
That's definitely it. The fact that, for the first time, I realised that these officers are actually SCARED. They see a black man and feel FEAR, so much so that they shoot first. They are not scared of other white people, which is why they have the patience and diligence to talk down a white person brandishing a weapon, but when faced with a black person armed or unarmed, these police officers who have gone through rigorous training (an assumption on my part) become cowards and shoot. I wasn't prepared for that. I wasn't prepared to SEE that. That's when I got mad.
How DARE you be a coward and swear to protect others? How DARE you not just piss your pants like other scared people and instead, handle a weapon? How DARE you use your fear as an excuse to kill another human? How DARE you kill someone in cold blood and make excuses? How DARE you be rewarded with freedom by the judicial system for your cowardice? How bloody DARE you?!
So here I sit, trying to understand why after so many years it seems we haven't made enough progress to protect our lives, when a video of police brutality against black youths in the UK begins to circulate on Twitter. The responses added to my rage. Many white British people said things along the lines of "Nobody died though" and "British police aren't racist like the Americans". And herein lies the problem. That false sense of security that people keep using to excuse injustice against black people. Why must we (black people) DIE before you recognise that our lives, our very existence is being treated with so much disregard! Why do you feel that a black boy held down by 4 police officers and being repeatedly kneed in the stomach is ok as long as he isn't shot?
These are the questions I posed to one such tweeter:
White British Man: Did they murder him in front of his daughter? No. (in justification to the video in question)
Me: You need to see death before you recognise racism? You're part of the problem.
WBM: Hey, did I say it was ok? No it's disgusting, but none of those officers behaved like the American officers
Me: Do you see any respect for these men's wellbeing in that video? Making excuses is part of the problem. As a black person let me tell you that the only difference in the way we are treated by the police is the presence of guns.
(Fast forward a few tweets)
WBM: Hmmm, you're right but I still don't think the British police are as bad as the Americans, it's not really a thing here.
Me: If you don't think it's a 'thing', we (UK) are very good at disguising it. It's defo a 'thing' in my (Black British) community.
WBM: I've never seen it.
Do you see the problem here? I, a black woman, is telling a white man that these videos of the conduct of police officers in the US is only one step removed from the conduct of police officers in England and a white man who has no experience on the matter at hand is telling me British police are better? How? Based on his white privileged experiences. Does that even make sense? Why is it so hard for some white people to understand that if everybody was being treated the way black people are, then racism wouldn't exist and that since it does, white people can never be victims of it and therefore cannot compare their personal experiences to that of a black person?
Let me enlighten you real quick:
* The ONLY reason America APPEARS worse than England is because most police officers in England don't carry guns, this is about to change. * Being 'better' than the US is not enough, this is not a competition of who can treat black people worse. Racism is racism.
* The ATTITUDE towards black people is the same and maybe even worse! In the US, African Americans are seen as 'less-than' but they are a part of America; in England black people are ALL seen as immigrants (regardless of nationality) and therefore not only are black people seen as 'less-than' but they are also expected to "f**k off and go back to your country" making their rights in England even more fragile e.g. British citizens who are convicted of a crime are being stripped of their nationality and being deported to the countries their parents originated from (which they themselves may have never visited in their lives) after paying their debt to society in prison. Why? You're black so you're never really British.
* Despite the fact that most British police officers do not carry guns, there is an astounding number of deaths in police custody.
* Black British communities are just as fearful of the police as African American communities.
* In my personal experience, police officers in England are very systematic about removing mobile phones from situations where things might get ugly.
* White people who are not exposed to this environment are blissfully unaware of the conduct of police officers.
* Just because most white people haven't experienced police brutality does not negate its existence. Such is the nature of systematic racism, it doesn't affect white people.
* When black people are telling you what they face every day, LISTEN!
* There is nothing worse than people who pretend they don't know racism exists.
* If you are making excuses for any act labelled racist by a victim of racism, YOU are part of the problem.
* If you are justifying the murders of black people at the hands of the police, YOU too do not value black lives making you a racist.
* If you don't understand why a police officer killing a black person is not equivalent to/justified by black on black crime then YOU too are part of the problem.
* The information about the treatment of black people in England at the hands of the police doesn't get on the national news until there's a riot e.g. 2011 London Riots.
* The numbers of deaths at the hands of police officers may be less in England but there are also fewer black people in England (3.5%) than there are in the US (12.6%).
* Although the deaths of black people at the hands of police officers in America has only recently gained worldwide attention, they have been happening for many, many years.
I am so sick and tired of seeing all these excuses made for police officers who endanger black people! If protecting themselves is more important to them than protecting the communities they serve then being a police officer is the wrong career path for them. If you agree that #BlackLivesMatter then you should be against the actions of murderous and racist police officers. Period.
I do pray that I see a change but if truth be told, I feel helpless. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of black people being reduced to a hashtag. I'm tired of statements made by the likes of Malcom X and Mohammed Ali in the 1950's still being relevant today. I'm tired of the statistics indicating that black people are dying at the same rate in 2016 as they were when slavery was legal. I'm tired of having a target on my back because of my skin colour. I'm tired of people that look like me being killed for no reason. I'm just so tired...
First of all, there is no such thing as 'Talking White', 'white' is not a language.
The fact that stereotypical 'ghetto behaviour' is what many people associate with being black and that anyone who doesn't conform to this stereotype is seen as a sell out is simply disgusting. In the words of Nas:
"Before we came to this country
We were kings and queens, never porch monkeys!
There were empires in Africa called Kush
Timbuktu, where every race came to get books
To learn from black teachers who taught Greeks and Romans"
'I Can' from the 'God's Son' album
Even in history books (as modified as they may be) my ancestors were educated people. Black people as a whole have struggled for too many years and shed too much blood in order for us to be entitled to an education outside of the mother land; to have the European languages we have been educated in spoken incorrectly makes all their efforts seem futile. The funniest thing is that the people who accuse others of 'Talking White' are the same people who can't speak any language (African) that would allow them to 'Talk Black'! *rolls eyes*
Secondly, 'An average black girl'? What does that even mean? In an ethnicity with so many variations in shade, background and culture what does the 'average' look like?
I don't know what black women did to receive so much backlash from the world. Time and time again they have been the backbone and support system to changing history and to creating amazing men as both mothers and wives. Through all storms black women have stood firm, unwavering in their determination to make the next generation better, yet somehow, the people they have been so strong for have become the same people who have shown the most disdain for them. I'm not saying black women should be worshipped but definitely appreciated, if not by the whole world, at least by fellow black people.
I wish more black people would embrace the greatness and strength of our people instead of constantly trying to find a way to belittle and segregate one another. Can we just live?!
I am so angry right now I hope I can type coherently but please bear with me if my grammar and language becomes inappropriate *deep breath*
As you all know and as I previously blogged about there has been a series of riots in England that started in London as a result of the London Metropolitan Police shooting and killing an innocent man. The severity of these riots has lead to many 'educated' (I use the term loosely!) people to look into the underlying causes of these riots so that a solution to the mass violent attacks can be sought and a reoccurance can be prevented.
The issue was discussed on BBC Newsnight by presenter Emily Maitlis with historian David Starkey (racist mo***rf**ker!), author and broadcaster Dreda Say Mitchell and author of the book 'Chavs' Owen Jones.
I can't for the life of me explain how ANGRY and OUTRAGED I am at this imbecile's claims! I tell you the rage in my chest went straight to my head!!!
His whole argument that black 'bad' people have corrupted the white 'good' people just makes my blood boil! He's implying that black people are the root of all evil! WTF!!!
Then he brought in the age old argument that rap is the reason for violence. I don't remember any history books saying the slave traders used rap on the slave ships or Hitler spitting some bars before going to kill all those people! Rap also didn't start any of the World Wars so please spare me the 'rap = violence' argument! It may or may not contribute to it but so does bad living conditions and I don't hear that argument being used as a red card or a solution for that being sought!
I can't even express how angry I get when racist people use such an occasion to be openly racist! I do not in any way condone the violence that took place during those riots but to sweep the government's role under the carpet and blame Jamaican patois for it is just disgusting and f**king out of bloody order!!!! I have to commend both Emily and Owen because if only Dreda had objected to his views her opinion would have been ignored as a 'she's defending her people' type thing.
A very wise Youtube viewer posted this under a David Starkey video:
EVERY SATURDAY FOR NINE MONTHS OF THE YEAR, the police spend thousands of hours preventing guys from smashing up town centres and battering each other at FOOTBALL.
Not too many blacks and no Jamaican patois there. There isn't even any material benefit. But that's OK, eh?
MrDerekMullins
Another pinpointed the part of all this that that the a**e wipe missed:
Whites haven't become black, the reason they mix cultures so well is because they have a lot in common, from sexuality, to music, to humour, there's no difference in the way they are inside. Blacks in white communities become 'white', whites in black become 'black', it's being different shades of the same page.
scoocheeful
I'm glad some people are looking at the bigger picture here.
Some people are under the impression that racism in England is dead because there are many 'ethnic minorities' living here and this is a prime example of how real and current racism is in our society. Since the riots I've seen many 'go back to your country' and 'they are monkeys anyway' comments on social networking sites. If anything, it's just sad that people like David Lammy (MP for Tottenham) are stripped of their 'blackness' by the likes of David f**king Starkey in order to be accepted as a successful person.
Now that I have got that off my chest I want to share a video that actually shows a speaker whose brain cells are still fully active.
I apologize once again for my language, I edited some of it out but there are parts that needed it in order to convey my outrage.
I have a bone to pick with a few people that "made it out the hood"! Correction - I have two bones to pick with these people.
Bone Number One - can I just say that buying a house outside 'the hood' but spending 6 days a week in the hood is NOT getting out the hood! The hood is not just a geographical location but also a mentality and an atmosphere so if you sleep in a different area code but spend every waking moment in 'the hood' then sorry love you, ain't left anything!
Bone Number Two - what kind of child with any love for their parent/s at all makes serious money and leaves their mum in an old council flat or, in this case, the projects? I've recently become addicted to a reality TV show called Basketball Wives (don't judge me!) and in a recent episode one of the main characters, Evelyn Lozada, went to visit her mum who still lives in the projects! Now to be fair, Evelyn herself isn't exactly a millionaire but my thing is if you can drive a Porsche (recently traded in from a Range Rover!), wear Christian Louboutin shoes, carry Louis Vuitton bags and own a high end store, then surely you can move your mum from the projects of the Bronx to a Manhattan apartment!
Bronx Projects
Apartments similar to the one
Evelyn lives in
I see this time and time again, these ghetto people are given a break from poverty and they spend their fortune on 'ice', cars, ridiculously expensive (and ugly!) chains, grills and any other unnecessary rubbish they can claim gives them 'swagger' and forget to invest or put money away for a rainy day! Not long after their second album flops (sometimes it's a one hit wonder single!) you then hear stories that their homes are being repossessed and they are moving back in with their mum whom they had left in the hood! I just wish these people would bloody learn to prioritize jheeze! SMH.
The term 'gold digger' has been flying around for years but what really annoys me is the fact that men are now trying to use it to discourage women from openly stating the fact that they want a man with a huge bank balance!
I remember a few years back during one of my university Afro Caribbean Society meetings I stated that I refused to date a broke guy and that the minimum I would expect is a guy that would keep me at the standard I was accustomed to. The reaction I received from the men and some of the dumb ass-licking females tryna get laid, you'd think I wanted to re-instate slavery!
You see my thing is this, as a single woman with no children I get my hair done every 3 weeks at quite an expensive hair salon, I get a mani-pedi every fortnight, I travel at least twice a year, I wear clothes that may be deemed expensive by some and I like going out a lot. When you add bills and car insurance, my lifestyle is quite an expensive one BUT I work hard to keep it that way. Now unless I date a guy who is also well paid and can handle his business I will end up having to cover the costs of our being together e.g. if I want to go on holiday and he's broke MY pay cheque will have to cover both of us or if he can't afford to get line rental on his phone MY phone bill will have to increase in order for us to have those long conversation that as women we just love! Getting my drift?
So why is it that because I decided to do the government a favour and start covering my partner's job seeker's allowance, do I have to walk around with a nappy head or cut down on my outings? How fair is that? My solution? Date a guy that has at least enough money to cover himself so I can stay at the standard I am accustomed to. And this was all I was trying to say at that meeting that nearly got me stoned.
Having said that I do plan to marry a guy that has considerably more money than me (which will be kind of hard when I start making that cardiac surgeon money!) and I refuse to feel ashamed for saying it! Men have started making women feel insecure for wanting a provider which is totally wrong. Men are SUPPOSED to provide for their family so why would a woman with half a brain want to be tied to a man that will make her downgrade from Brazilian hair to synthetic? Even if she doesn't bring in an income but she raises your kids, keeps a clean house, cooks your meals and irons your shirts she's not a gold digger, she's your WIFE!!! She just chose to do those things for the highest bidder and there ain't no shame in that!!!
A gold digger is a woman that is only with you for your money, has the cheek to hire a maid and always feed you take away!!! This type of woman will either claim to be infertile throughout your marriage or she will push out the token child that will guarantee her an income when you find out she's sleeping with the mail man, the pool guy AND the gardener!
The funny thing is, these females are not hard to spot so please stop trying to make the rest of us feel bad for wanting a well paid husband and an expensive engagement ring! That is all.
***Post specific disclaimer: I have nothing against Muslims or Christians and my family has members of both religions, this post is specific ONLY to the people who, in my opinion, are not taking religion seriously. Thank you.***
A few years ago, circa 2005, there was a trend in and around London where every Tom, Dick, Harry, John and Fred decided they had to become Muslim. I call it 'The Era of the Trophy Muslims". This trend meant that everywhere you went there were people, especially guys, who would be shouting "Salaam alaikum" ('Peace be upon you' in Arabic) across the street at each other to let everyone else who couldn't tell from the trousers tucked in their socks, the beads hanging from their necks and the 'muslim scarf' (a black and white scarf that has no relation to Islam whatsoever!) that they were Muslim! *rolls eyes*
These individuals would then use their religion as an excuse to form cliques (that could have arguably been called gangs considering the activities they took part in!) and went around forcing people to convert (sometimes at gun point!). It was clear that these individuals obviously did not take the religion very seriously, probably only stepped into a mosque once and once I even witnessed a girl remove her burqa (the garment that covers Muslim women from head to toe) and niqab (the veil that covers a Muslim woman's face) to have lunch during ramadan! (John Ruskin College alumni 05/06 please testify!)
So the trend, like most, died out and a new one seems to have now taken over. I call this "The Era of the Leisure Centre Christians". For the past few years, starting circa 2009, being Muslim has no longer been 'cool' so the new religion of choice became Christianity. Now I don't mean people who just convert and decide to join a church, I'm talking about the ones who use the 'Born Again' route to becoming 'cool'. These people,like the Trophy Muslims before them, ensured everyone knew they were 'saved' by screaming "Jesus loves you my brother/sister" in greeting to their fellow 'saved' Christians across the street in case anyone missed the rosary around their neck and the Bible and dutiful notebook in their hand, form cliques and ostracise anyone who isn't also born again because they believe that they will be tainted by association. As a result of this, they decide to cut off all old friends that refuse to become 'saved' and after going to what seems like a maximum of three Bible studies they suddenly believe they are better than everyone and can go around judging people!
Who died and made you God? Did you miss a whole chunk of the Bible while memorizing quotes and bypass the part that said there is only one God, Christians are not to judge others and Jesus allowed prostitutes in his presence? Getting baptised by being dipped in a pool at your local leisure centre (hence the name I gave them!) does not make you holy and it surely doesn't give you a free pass to Heaven!
The thing that annoys me about these Trophy Muslims and Leisure Centre Christians is that, because of the loud way in which they go about their business, they are unfortunately representing the religions and doing so very erroneously. Nobody is perfect and all religious people strive to live a good life in order to get to the promised land so when these fools go around giving the seriously religious people a bad name, they are causing others to not take the beliefs seriously! You should not be proving your holiness to anyone but the Creator so why are people stunting with it like it's a Blackberry? You got Trophy Muslims bombing and leading gangs and Leisure Centre Christians thinking that they are better that everyone while f**cking at the back of the church! I mean, do you not fear God?
Just to ensure there is no confusion, I am not saying ALL Muslims or ALL Christians/Born Again behave like this, I am addressing the few that do and I pray that God forgives you for making a mockery of something that is very serious.
Am I the only one that feels that black women are being attacked more frequently these days? If it's not our weave, its our dress sense, if not that then its our way of life and if all else fails they attack our figures! Everyone is looking for flaws in black women and it's really annoying, leave us alone already!!!
The most recent 'imperfect black women' witch hunt came from someone who used his position to pass opinion as fact by claiming that all black women are ugly! Although I have many un-ladylike words I'd love to express, I will not allow his foolishness to ruin my mood, people like him do things for a reaction and I will not be joining the many people who gave him one, I will give him what he deserves - nothing!
It is these continued attacks that lead me to address a very common, yet infuriating, stereotype - angry black females. This concept makes my blood boil every time and even more so when I hear it from black males. Now I may not be the best person to address this topic as I do have a very, erm, 'fiery' personality but having said that, how can every woman of a whole race be tainted with the same brush?
For those of you that have not heard (do you live under a rock?) black women are apparently always angry, love to cause a scene, constantly arguing, very aggressive, easily angered, hot tempered and all carry knifes in their clutch bags! I mean, are you for real!? Although I stated that I have a fiery personality (I like to call it 'passionate' but whatever!), none of the things in that list describe me! Ok maybe one but still, I know plenty of black women who have none of those qualities, in fact I can even go as far as to say the majority of them are actually quite mild mannered! The fact that all black women are deemed to be ticking time bombs is ludicrous!!!
The worst part is that when a back woman does get angry about something genuine we automatically get the 'she's black, what did you expect?' look and are not taken seriously!
As women - black, white, Asian green or yellow! - we are emotional beings so its only natural that when we are sad we cry, when we are happy we laugh and when we are angry we shout! That's what having all that extra oestrogen is all about! I have to admit there are some crazy black women out there but have you ever messed with a Chinese girl's money? She made Naomi Campbell's bursts of rage look like friendly banter!!!
So for all those people that have erroneously black listed black women listen up - we are NOT always angry, in fact the emotional state we are in most often is love! We don't like causing scenes, we like to keep our business to ourselves (it's your fault if you date a drama queen!)! We are not any more hot tempered than the next person with two X chromosomes! We are not all aggressive, our ranking in society forces us to be quite passive actually and if you look in a black woman's clutch bag you won't find anything you wouldn't find in the clutch of a woman of a different race!
All I want is my right to be angry without being labelled for doing so! And to all the foolish black men that help circulate this stereotype SHAME ON YOU!!! If our men can't support us, who will? As for our beauty, regardless of what any two bit researcher says, it's undeniable.
Ok so I don't get why people get all sensitive about the word 'ugly'. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder so don't I have as much a right to call someone 'ugly' as I do to call them 'beautiful'? I'm all about equality and the same way I would tell someone I thought they were ugly is how I would tell a person I thought they were pretty.
My best friend says that 'ugly' is a strong word and I guess it is but if I think someone is ugly what else do I call it? To me 'unattractive' isn't the same thing. If I met a guy who was really good looking but didn't tweak my interest I would describe him as unattractive - he did not attract me. 'Ugly' is when the person just isn't pleasing to my eyes! As the Brits would say - a sight for sore eyes.
I think I REALLY get a reaction when I describe a child as ugly. Now I know ya'll have probably already condemned me to hell for putting the word 'child' and 'ugly' in the same sentence but hey its true, some children are ugly! I personally think I was an ugly toddler (I've been told otherwise but I think that's just people's unwillingness to call a child ugly!) and only became attractive/cute at about 3 years old but hey, that's life! Not every child can model for GAP!
I'm the type that calls a spade a spade and I will not say someone who looks like an ogre is pretty just so that I can be politically correct. I don't use the word 'ugly' to belittle or insult a person, it's just the opposite of beautiful! I have a niece and nephew who are both absolutely gorgeous (not just my opinion, it's common knowledge) and I do have to admit that I pray daily that when I become a mother they end up with an equally gorgeous cousin otherwise all picture taking will be prohibited! I KID, I KID!!! Jheeze, lol! I do wonder if mothers are actually aware that their child is ugly or if they see invisible beauty on their child's face...
So yeah, I freely call people ugly and I don't want to be reprimanded for doing so. And anyway I don't go around telling people they are ugly! Unless they ask me what I think...
So this has been upsetting my soul for quite a while and it is getting to a point where I need to speak out now to avoid b**ch slapping the next fool I see with a disgusting hairline.
Why is every Sally, Jane and Mary walking around with a wig attached to their forehead in the name of beauty? Can they not identify their hairline?
Moreover, if Rihanna and her expensive stylist couldn't pull off the red weave what on earth made you think getting a cheap red lace-front would make you look nice?
Lace-fronts are in theory a great idea, they let you wear a weave that is as close to natural looking as currently possible (who know's what these weave-technicians are cooking up!) but the problem is that too many people try to get the look without paying the price and the result....
Why, I repeat, why would you want to look like this? And the part that really gets on my left tit is the fact that these morons will then look at you like say you're the slow one for not having one on your head too!
Epidemic may sound dramatic but I can assure you that the majority of women these days are opting for the lace front approach and of that population, about 5% are getting away with it. The thing with lace fronts is you either get it right and it looks very nice or you get it wrong and look atrocious! There is no middle ground!
Word of advice - if in doubt (no matter how small!), DON'T DO IT!
There's a common misconception among the teens and young adults of today that respect is received automatically and doesn't need to be earned. Well to those confused individuals - you're wrong! And to those who try to gain respect the wrong way (e.g. guns, illegal money, threats...) - you're just stupid!
The following actions will earn you no respect from me but seem to be the current guidelines for gaining respect in our confused society:
Calling yourself a Boss or HBIC -Head Bitch In Charge
Lies
Slang
Being a gangster
A famous coochie (didn't ya'll know? Whoring is now cool!)
A potty mouth
Going on about your 'grind'
Classlessness
Permanent unemployment
Expecting things in life to be free
Inability to spell
Expensive weave
A nice car
Uneducated individuals
No sense of responsibility a.k.a. wasteman/girl
Illegal activities of any kind
Knowing all the bouncers at the clubs
Knowing everyone (really though, who does that even impress?)
Being good looking (that's God's praise not yours!)
Going to the gym
Spending lots of money at the bar
Expensive clothes (9 out of 10 times the LV is bought with illegal money)
Irresponsible parents/being a bad example to your kids
Having jail time on your CV
Being 25 and over with no sense of life direction
Being a dog player
Wasted potential
Having an iphone/Blackberry (what are we? 10!?)
Believing your own hype
Surrounding yourself with people who are worst off than you to make you feel good about yourself
Being good with the mouth a.k.a. smooth talkers
Please Note: Just because I don't disrespect you doesn't mean I respect you!
For those of you that don’t know what a Bounty (like the chocolate) is, it's a person who to the rest of the world is black but in their head they are white! Other synonyms for this include Oreo and coconut. With these people I just want to say “Excuse me, do you realise that your friends Amy and Tom here know you’re black?" Or better yet “Refusing to lotion in order to make your skin white and flaky does not make you white, just dry!”
Can you imagine I met a guy who to me and you is black but had the cheek to tell me he fills in applications as other! The issue I have with this is that these confused individuals have the cheek to display an attitude of superiority because they have refused their heritage! If a person of a different race displayed the same attitude, the racism card would be out in no time!
But what annoys me more than bounty’s are the black men who cannot stand black women, and vice versa. The Dream (a dumb rapper) made a statement that went something like “Dark girls look like their skin is burnt and if she can’t get her hair wet then she’s no good” Please do me a favour and google this guy for me. Does he or does he not look black? So where the hell does he get off saying such nonsense about his own race? Regardless of whether he has a mixed heritage his appearance indicates he has some black in there!
I have no issues with interracial relationships, my family is from all over the place, but it’s one thing to be genuinely attracted to a person of another race and another to date another race because you hate your own! The problem I think these people have is that they don’t seem to understand that being black is not describing your heritage as it is your skin tone. If your skin tone is on a certain side of brown you are a black person, no point telling me your heritage indicates otherwise, it’s irrelevant.
I know there are issues with the quality of life you get as a black person but that’s a whole different ball game. The point I am trying to make is that if you are a black person, or for those who cannot fathom the thought, a black LOOKING person then to society you are black, regardless of how mixed your gene pool may be and the idea that people like the Dream think it’s ok to publicly show a racist attitude to his own kind is nothing short of disgusting. Is there any point in even mentioning the atrocity that is now Vybz Kartel? Once again I quote Bossip - 'God take the wheel' SMH.
I saw this video a few months ago and I found it totally hilarious. Today I feel exactly like he does so I’m going to state the 15 things that I absolutely can’t stand. In no particular order here goes:
1.Barbies – I’m not talking about the doll (I still go to Hamley’s to see the collector’s display!), I’m talking about these girls who feel the need to transform in the morning! A friend of mine recently described a girl as Pikachu and it is so true! They have these unnaturally red cheeks, foundations that don’t suit their complexion, lashes of an elephant, nails that compete with Wolverine, eyebrows that look like permanent marker pen and they top it all off with lion mane hair!!! The sick joke is that they think they look pretty!!! Are you kidding me??? When’s Ashton Kutcher going to shout "Punk’d"? These same girls then ridicule Lady Gaga! Do they not realise that Gaga looks like a nun compared to them!? Now I know everyone is free to do whatever they want but aren’t there laws against abuse and battery? I feel emotionally and psychologically abused and my eyes are constantly being battered, I think I need a lawyer...
2.Rude children – Don’t you just hate it when a child is rude and disrespectful? And it’s even worse when they have a ‘My child would never...’ parent! People beware, if your child is rude to me I may just have to teach them manners #NoLongTing
3.Big talkers – Talking does nothing but exhaust the Earth’s oxygen supply, want to make a point? SHOW it to me!
4.Underground celebrities – This is the term I use for those people who think they are a somebody because they have thousands of friends and followers on social networks and their Blackberry pin is on Google. Guess what? You’re still a nobody! Maybe if you spent more time making a real impact on the world and spent less time stunting in the clubs you may actually become a somebody and give your life more meaning, just a thought...
5.Excuses – I can’t stand people that constantly make excuses for their actions/circumstances. People have done/been through worse and they overcame so your pitiful excuses for failure is just that – an excuse.
6."Models" – I love me some Jordin Dunn, Cindy Crawford and Alek Wek but I cannot stand this trend where every girl that thinks they look good in a body con dress and is able to borrow Indian hair weave thinks they are a model! Ya’ll are an insult to the industry! Some of these girls have great figures but a great figure and a model’s figure isn't the same thing. Having boobs and a butt doesn’t make you Gisele and if they jiggle then you may want to hit the gym before even displaying such goods. It’s even worse when the girl in question looks like a hippo or a bodybuilder in a dress! Are you taking the piss? Even if your friends lied to you, did the fact that you’re a size 18 slip your mind? Ladies taking a good picture doesn’t make you a model so please spare us the ‘aspiring model’ speech and go find yourself a new trade.
7.Breast displays – I know I've said this before but I’m going to say it again – if you have big boobs they are already in everyone’s face, you do not need to have them falling out your top/dress to prove they are there! It’s just so tacky! Ergh!
8.Fake people – I don’t think I will ever get why people like to act like schizophrenics and display multiple personalities. It’s simple – be you! Why spend precious days in your life pretending to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like someone don’t associate with them; if you are not a ‘baller’ then don’t try to live the lifestyle in borrowed clothes and stolen cash; if you don’t want to be with someone don’t cheat, just let them go and be with who you do want to be with; if you feel your life isn't what you want it to be don’t lie about, it just work at making the life you want. It’s pretty simple to me, I don’t know why so many people find it so hard.
9.Expensive hoes – There’s this new set of women who are as bad as the common hoe but pretend to have class by hiding behind a LV bag bought for them by the highest bidder of their ****. You don’t fool me, a hoe’s a hoe and class isn't a part of the job description #NotInterested
10.Pointless Liars – I know everybody lies in one way or another, whether its white lies, for-the-best lies, spare-your feelings lies, lying by omission or save-my-butt lies but the type I really can’t stand is the for-no-reason lies! There are some people that just feel the need to spin you a story for absolutely NO REASON! These type of liars are normally really bad at it and are not consistent which means it doesn't take much to find them out. My question is always ‘Why?’. If I asked you something or if I cared then maybe I can see why you may feel the need to lie but otherwise what’s the point? To these type of people whenever you feel the urge to chat s**t to me – DON’T!
11.Jack of all trades and master of none – This old school saying describes the headless chickens that are roaming our society. These chickens are trying to be a part of everything all at once and are becoming successful in none. Just a word of advice – focus on one thing, succeed in that field and then go on to the next. What you’re doing now leaves you in waste man/chick category and the ‘I’m so busy’ line isn’t fooling anyone.
12.Classless people – People with no class or sense of decency just generally annoy me.
13.Pretend artists – So many people today want to get in the music industry for different reasons, some have a passion for music, some want a route to becoming a diva, others believe it’s easy money, some just don’t know what else to do with their time and a whole bunch of people just want in on the hype. Can someone please explain to me how they will ever become successful in music if you spend more time talking about ‘making it’ than in the studio? O_o
14.Narcissistic individuals – Some people take statuses and comments to heart just because it happens to coincide with them in one way or another. All I have to say is – no, the world does not revolve around you and even if it did I still wouldn’t be interested. P.S. If I had anything to say to you I’d say it TO you.
15.Obstructive criticism – In other words ‘enemy of progress’. It’s one thing to have an opinion and it’s another to try to discourage someone from achieving something. There’s a common misconception that only girls are bitchy but I have witnessed guys trying to hinder another guys progress. As a friend you should definitely highlight the negative aspects of your friend’s decision (I know I have!) but at the same time if they wanted someone to stop them from succeeding they would turned to their enemies! It can be something as subtle as making a joke at your friend’s expense (bitchy boys I see you!) or all out making them feel stupid with your reaction (girls keep your pencil enhanced eyebrows down!). Instead try to offer some encouragement and a solution to any unrealistic aspects of their plan and then maybe one day when they make it they will acknowledge you as the person that believed in them when nobody else would.
There are so many other things that frustrate me on a daily basis but I figured this post was long enough without them! I may let you know all about the rest another time but that’s all for now :-)
