Hair Discrimination

Those who know me know that I love a good haircut and I have cut my hair on several occasions, both DIY and professionally. Since being natural, I've always had my hair straightened before getting it cut but this time I decided I was going to do something different. In essence I wanted a second big chop but as I don't have the cojones to rock an Amber Rose, I decided I would go for something slightly longer but just as stylish.

I wish I was that brave.

So there I was looking for a good hairdresser who could cut natural hair in its natural state and I soon learned something: the prices were discriminatory. I searched in both the UK and the USA and learned one thing: hairdressers that cater to black hair sometimes charge three times as much to cut natural hair as they do to cut straight/relaxed hair!

At first I was sure I was doing something wrong, surely an Afro hairdresser wouldn't charge more to cut my hair just because it was in its natural state, that would be ridiculous right? Wrong! Every single price list I looked up online and quote I called in to obtain showed a huge discrepancy in price. In some instances I even found that getting my hair washed, straightened and cut would be cheaper than a wash and cut on natural hair!

The salon/hairdresser/hair shop has historically been somewhat of a sanctuary for black women, a place where we go knowing that there's an unspoken solidarity, that this was the only locale that could 'handle' our hair and that the fact that you were here meant that regardless of shade, you were black. 

Black salon culture depicted in "How To Get Away With Murder"

It's bad enough that as black women we face discrimination in EVERY instance from other ethnicities and that within our own ethnicity we deal with colourism, but to walk into an Afro salon and be told that they are unable to dress natural hair or that you have to pay two to three times as much unless you opt for a form of straightening procedure is simply unacceptable! Every hairdresser/stylist in an Afro hair salon should know how to dress natural hair, treatments like relaxers and dyes are optional, what grows out of our scalp is not, that should be their basic hair dressing skills.

Naysayers will say I'm over reacting or that it's not that big a deal but it is a big deal when someone with a silkier texture or a looser curl pattern isn't required to straighten their hair before getting it cut, or when said customer is not required to pay a 'it's too kinky' charge! #ThatIsAll #RantOver

Favourite Bands

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

As you all must know by now, I'm a HUGE 90's music fan and although the musical draught I've been feeling since 2004 seems to be coming to an end and I'm finally starting to enjoy 'newbies' music (any artist/song after 2002/3), the 90's will always have my heart.

A while ago I wrote a post about my favourite artists promising to follow up with my favourite bands (all from the 90's and late 80's of course!). Well here is my promise fulfilled (albeit nearly 3 years later!).

A time before internet and social media detectives *side eye*, watching music videos to learn song lyrics and choreographies was one of the most enjoyable childhood activities  to partake in. Musician's gained fans by how amazing their videos were and they did not disappoint. I know that in this day and age, where HD videos can be produced on your phone, these videos may appear to be poor quality but understand that in the 90's these were simply AMAZING! Standing on a ceiling? Whoa?!

I am a HUGE Spice Girls fan and the high kick in this video embedded 'Say You'll Be There' into my heart. 

The kids (people born in the late 90's and later) probably don't know that Justin Timberlake was part of a great band called N*Sync but my bestie and I have reenacted their songs and choreographies many a time over the years during our girls night ins; 'Bye Bye Bye' is definitely our party trick! Lol!

Although the Spice Girls have the number 1 spot in my heart, at 1.01 there is Destiny's Child. I've loved DC through their band member changes (I recently had to give my not so little brother a history lesson on DC since he didn't know there were originally 4 members) but this video will always be my favourite. LaToya's face + Kelly's hair + LaTavia's attitude + Beyoncé's ad-libs = Destity's Child perfection!

You can't discuss 90's choreography without including Dru Hill, they gave swag a whole new meaning! As this is a soundtrack video it's definitely not their best but I absolutely love 'How Deep Is Your Love For Me'.

Backstreet Boys were already mega famous but when they released 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back)' it became a children's party anthem.

We can't talk about girl bands without mentioning the most iconic of them all, TLC. They broke records with their talent and unconventional style. Also known for great choreography, this song in particular became a favourite worldwide - 'No Scrubs'. Rest in peace Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes ♥

Boyz II Men are synonymous with 'harmonies' and have some of the most beautiful voices I've heard to date. To say I had one favourite song would be lying but here's their most popular song, 'I'll Make Love To You'.

Before Kandi Burruss went on to become a 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' star and to write hit songs (she wrote Destiny's Child 'Bills Bills Bills' and co-wrote 'No Scrubs' with band member Tiny who is now also a reality TV star), Kandi was a member of a group called Xscape and although the song 'You're My Little Secret' is trifling as hell, I love it!

Jagged Edge have a great discography but I think everyone will agree that 'Walked Outta Heaven' is R&B gold.

The band Jodeci produced one of the greatest R&B duo's of all time (K-Ci & Jojo for the children in the room) and their song 'All My Life' is an all time wedding favourite.

'Weak' is probably the song that comes to mind when SWV comes up however, 'Can We (Get Freaky Tonight)' featuring Missy Elliott is by far my SWV favourite.

There are no words to express the impact 'Killing Me Softly' by The Fugees had on the summer of '96, you just had to be there.

So there you have it, some of the best bands and songs to grace the Earth. Can you guys tell that I'm greatly missing the days of R&B? Lol! Also, did you notice that all these songs have some seriously 'grown' lyrics? At the time I sang along blissfully unaware of the real meaning behind these songs.

The 90's seem to be making a comeback in both fashion and music but it will never be the same; it's a good thing, some things are better experienced only once.

My Top 3 Foundations

Let me start by saying that I am NOT a beauty blogger or a make-up expert, quite the contrary actually, until quite recently I've never cared about anything beyond a good mascara.

Over the summer I realised that I was a grown woman that didn't own a real foundation (I have a tinted moisturiser) and I decided that by my birthday (shout out to all my November babies!) I would rectify that. I had no clue about foundations so I did what any sensible person would have done, I went to MAC! Lol!

I'm sure you can imagine how overwhelmed I felt when I walked into MAC and discovered they had a huge range of foundations and shades! 

The sales assistant took one look at me and said "I think you should probably try samples first". She saved my life. 'The Foundation Hunt' became my personal project and I spent the summer sampling foundations, learning about skin types and undertones, watching Youtube videos, reading blogs and combing through reviews. I sampled a lot of popular brands including MAC, NARS, Estée Lauder, Giorgio Armani and Fashion Fair to name a few. I tried all types of finishes (dewy, satin, semi-matte, matte), consistencies (liquid, powder, gel, stick) and application tools (fingers, beauty blender and foundation/buffing/stippling brushes). 

Some details about my skin:

• Skin type - Normal
• Undertone - Yellow/Golden (Warm)
• Complexion - My complexion varies slightly depending on how much sun I'm exposed to but at my lightest I'm a MAC (most popular reference) NC45 and at my darkest I'm an NC50, my average is between the two shades.

I was looking for a light to medium coverage foundation that wouldn't look 'cakey' (the main reason I've avoided foundation for so long) and would just give me a nice natural finish. The foundation had to look good on its own because I had no intention of contouring or highlighting, I just wanted to feel like a grown up lol. 

My biggest challenge, which I'm sure many women of colour can relate to, was finding the correct shade. Considering how many different skin shades there are, I was quite surprised that many brands had a very narrow spectrum of shades.  The other challenges I faced were the oxidising of foundation (MAC is the biggest culprit of this, I'd leave home with a perfect finish and return with an orange face! Yuck!) and the heavy/clogged feeling certain foundations gave to my skin.

So after all of that, here are my top 3 foundations:  

1.   YSL Le Teint Touche Éclat 

      Shade: B80

      Finish: Satin

      Coverage: Light to medium

      Price: £31.50/$57

This is my absolute favourite foundation because it makes my skin look ah-mazing! I can barely feel it on my skin and its illuminating properties are very subtle yet noticeable. This is definitely the 'my skin but better' foundation for me. This foundation comes in 22 shades and 3 different undertones so it definitely caters to a variety of complexions.

2.   DiorSkin Forever 

      Shade: 060 - Light Mocha

      Finish: Semi-matte

      Coverage: Medium to full

      Price: £32.50/$50

This foundation is so beautiful! The finish is the most natural looking and long lasting of the three. It gives you a very flawless look but doesn't give you that I-have-the-whole-make-up-counter-on-my-face look. As I stated above, I don't contour or highlight but this foundation doesn't take away your face's dimensions nor does it look flat or dull. This isn't a popular foundation amongst women of colour probably because their shade range is so limited, this is their darkest shade.

3.  MAC Studio Face & Body

     Shade: C7

     Finish: Dewy

     Coverage: Sheer to Light

     Price: £22/$27

This foundation sits perfectly between foundation and tinted moisturiser and because it's so sheer, it is the most lightweight product I have tried. It gives me the sun kissed look that I love and although it has a dewy finish it doesn't make me look greasy.

All three of my chosen foundations are easy to work with, have beautifully natural finishes and are very lightweight on the skin. I would recommend all of these foundations and although their price tags are pretty steep in the world of make-up, I think they are worth every penny. Another foundation that I liked but didn't make my top 3 was MAC Matchmaster Foundation in shade 7.5. It has a semi-matte finish and was a great match for my complexion however, it was detectable on my skin which I didn't like, I like to look like I have nothing on. If I ever upgrade to 'face sculpting' I will definitely be purchasing it.

The queen of face sculpting

I have learned a lot about foundation over the summer and I'm glad I embarked on this journey, 'The Foundation Hunt' was really fun and it was definitely worth it. I don't think I'll ever be the kind of girl that wears foundation every day, I'm just glad I've found foundations that I can reach for without the fear of 'cake face'. 

A lot of the widely praised foundations didn't work for me so I would highly recommend sampling your chosen foundation for at least a full day before making a purchase. It was blog posts like this one that helped me with my search so I hope this post helps make the search for a good foundation easier for other make-up newbies like myself.

Happy sampling!


P.S.

Marc Jacobs recently released new shades of its popular 'Re(marc)able Full Cover Foundation Concentrate' and you can imagine how disappointed women of colour all over the globe were when they discovered that they only had 3 (4 if you want to be generous) of the 22 shades to choose from. 

I'm not one to throw the 'r' word around willy nilly but it's hard not to when designers as big as Marc Jacobs enforce segregation. Yes I said it, enforce!  #NotRudeHonest

Although this is the most current example, many make-up and beauty brands display this form of discrimination, not only to darker women but also, less commonly, to women on the very light side of the spectrum. In this instance, Marc Jacobs seems to have considered very pale skin tones.

Considering that the majority of the world is 'coloured' (I hate that word!) and how many different shades of brown skin exist, it is quite ridiculous that in 2015 beauty brands haven't woken up and smelt the coffee. Put simply, they need to do better. That is all.

10 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me As A Child

1. Don't throw away good bras, breast size changes throughout your life: I have a bit of an obsession with lingerie and have spent a small fortune on bras. If only someone had told me that my bra size would fluctuate I wouldn't have given away my good (and expensive!) bras. *sigh*

2. Failure is a part of life: When you are a high achiever and good at everything you do, parents are so busy encouraging you that they forget to tell you that one day, in whatever aspect of your life, you will fail and that it's ok as long as you get back up again.

3. Graduating from university does not mean automatic success: I'm sure many people can relate to this one. You are encouraged to do so well academically and to get an education but nobody tells you anything about life after graduation.

4. How to make AND keep money: Most people's answer to this is still "Get a job and save." I can assure you that that is not the answer.

5. Your 20s are for getting it together: Somewhere along the line we learned that if we didn't have it all figured out by 21 we had somehow failed society. Having babies you can't afford in a marriage based on puppy love and no real way of covering your student loans only equals a very difficult and unnecessarily stressful life. Take your time!

Normal thoughts for a 21 year old

6. There's no such thing as the perfect relationship but there are many examples of bad relationships: Time and time again I see people putting up with absolute nonsense in their relationships all because "No relationship is perfect so you have to settle", many have even suggested I do the same! Joke's on you.

7. Don't throw away clothes just because they are no longer the 'in' style: In our lifetimes we'll see old fashions come back at least once. Has anyone else seen bootcut jeans making a comeback?

8. Honesty is the best policy BUT sometimes silence is even better: If I had been told this I would have held back on being honest in many situations and would have saved myself a lot of hassle. I have learned that people do not like hearing the truth even if they ask for it.

9. Everyone's idea of 'success' is different: Some people believe that they are not successful until they have a six figure balance in the bank and others, more apparent since the birth of bridal accounts on Instagram (no names!), believe that success is in the size of the ring and/or wedding. It's ok to have your own idea of success and you are not 'unsuccessful' for not achieving standards set by others.

10. Not everyone thinks like you: This seems so obvious but, how many times have you been disappointed by the friend you thought would do for you what you would do for them? Exactly.

Colourism

"Colourism: Prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group." OxfordDictionaries.com

Personally I have never had to deal with colourism and as a result I was a little shocked to realise how big of an issue it was. Growing up I was a member of the only black family in my town so I had more issues with racism than colourism.

My family is very diverse and as such I have always been around family from all over the world and whom are all different shades ranging from white to black. As a child I was predominantly around my mixed race cousins and white friends but never was I made to feel ugly or less worthy because of my complexion.

This is more or less what my family looks like!

I later moved into the heart of London where multiculturalism is the norm and even then the only brief encounter I had with colourism was a myth (or at least that's what I thought it was back then...) that black boys only wanted to date mixed race girls. I believed it was a myth because I had many black male friends who all dated black girls and my black girl friends never had an issue finding a date.

Fast forward 10 or so years, I now understood complexion jokes in movies, "The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice" now seemed like a segregational statement, 'School Daze' was no longer just a funny movie and I become overall more conscious. This is when I truly began to understand just how serious and real the problem of colourism is. Even at this point however, colourism didn't directly affect me and seeing hashtags like #TeamLightSkin and #TeamDarkskin on social networks was as stupid and meaningless to me as the cinnamon challenge.

Scene from 'School Daze': War between light & dark skinned girls

As I am currently at the age of settling down and starting a family, I have started thinking of issues that I could possibly face in the pursuit of creating a happy home. I've been thinking of parenting and the best way to raise a well rounded individual and issues that were previously of little importance to me are now up for review. It occurred to me that my child may be that 'silly' person that needs to tweet their every move to feel important or become obsessed with a celebrity or be that girl that believes a UK size 8 (US size 2) is fat; these are all things that I have never experienced or felt. How do you teach a child that self worth is not based on Instagram likes?

Imagine this was your daughter?! My biggest nightmare!

I have always found it ridiculous that people who looked black to the world would go out of their way to call themselves 'mixed' or tell you "My great-grandad was white/chinese/indian" but understanding the existance of colourism doesn't make it sound as silly to me as it previously did. Colourism, even in its Oxford Dictionaries definition, appears to only affect dark skinned girls but as I was watching 'Light Girls' after having previously watched 'Dark Girls' my heart broke at the idea that my little girl, whether her skin is light or dark, could one day face these struggles based solely on a genetic predetermination she had no control over. That my son could subconsciously have a negative outlook on black women even though he loved those in his bloodline. As if living with racism every day wasn't enough of a burden!

'Dark Girls' trailer (2011)

How am I to prepare my children against the same people they are supposed to be able to stand side by side with to fight for equality of races? How do you explain to a child that not only are other races going to look down on them but that there was classism based on skin tone within their own race? My mum is the colour of brown sugar and my dad the colour of chocolate, I see myself as a perfect blend of the two and have always been made to feel as such; how then can I relate to the feeling a person gets from being the 'wrong' shade of black? 

'Light Girls' trailer (2014)

Colourism dates back before the brown paper bag tests (Google it!) and it angers me that colonialism and slavery has left such deep wounds in not only the black race but in other races as well. Finding a cream or lotion in Bankok, Thailand without a lightening agent is like finding money on the street, it happens but very rarely. Lightening products are sold just as freely in supermarkets in Abuja, Nigeria. India is notorious for its skin tone segregation especially when casting for Bollywood movies. In Japan people literally paint their faces white to remove the pigmented appearance of their skin.

Bleaching cream billboard advertisement

I can't even imagine what hating the skin you're in feels like, it's a concept that is quite hard for me to grasp. Outside of the institutional racism that I face every day as a black woman, I have also experienced violent racism but never have I hated myself or my skin colour. Ironically, this could be BECAUSE I grew up around white people. The white people I encountered who were not racist were the first to comment on how beautiful my skin was so I grew up accepting that some caucasians would like me and some wouldn't, either way there was nothing wrong with me and unless they threatened my wellbeing,  how they felt about me was their problem and not mine. 

This is something I hope I can teach my children, how to love themselves irrespective of outside opinions and to allow others to live their lives as they choose instead of criticising or judging them based on their differences/choices.

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

Martin Luther King Jr.

Au Naturel Update (Products)

Let me start by saying that I'm officially a product junkie. Lol!

I have spent a small fortune on hair products since going natural but in 2013 I upgraded from 'Natural Hair Journey' to 'Healthy Hair Journey' so a lot of products have been set aside (they contained non soluble silicones and/or mineral oils) and I spend my money much more wisely. Along the way I've learned that it's not really about which products you use but HOW you use them.

When it comes to products, one of my main deciding factors is 'smell'. If the product smells foul it is not getting purchased! The only exception to this rule is shampoo and only because it's always followed up by a nice smelling conditioner.

I have experimented with making my own products but as I have said in my Journey and Regimen update, I'm lazy when it comes to hair so I'd rather just buy it. The only thing I still enjoy making are deep conditioners, I am yet to find the perfect deep conditioner in a bottle. Here is a list of my favourite products.

Shampoos 

• Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo
• Dudu Osun/Black Soap

             

Conditioners

I make an avocado, banana, coconut milk, oil mix (any 3 I feel like at the time) and honey deep conditioner but I also buy a few for lazy days and co-washes.

• Giovanni 50:50 Balanced Hydrating-Calming Conditioner
• As I Am Coconut CoWash Cleansing Conditioner
• Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Moisturising Conditioner
• TRESemmé Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner

                   

                            

Leave-in Conditioners

• Kinky Curly Knot Today Leave-in/Detangler
• Giovanni Direct Leave-in Weightless Moisture Conditioner
• KimmayTube Recipe - 2tbsp leave-in conditioner (one of the above), 2tbsp aloe vera juice, 2tsp castor oil, 2tsp oil of choice

                            

Moisturisers (water based products)

• Oyin Handmade Hair Dew Daily Hair Quenching Lotion
• Shea Moisture Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie

                          

Creams (not water based)

• Organic Unrefined Shea Butter
• Carol's Daughter Healthy Hair Butter
• Carol's Daughter Hair Balm

                      

                                                 

Oils

• Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• Jamaican Black Castor Oil
• Organic Coconut Oil
• Vitamin E Oil
• Sweet Almond Oil
• Tea Tree Oil
• Jojoba Oil
• Avocado Oil

             

Styling Products

• Camille Rose Almond Jai Twisting Butter
• Miss Jessie's Curly Buttercreme
• Oyin Handmade Boing! All In One Coil Styler
• Carol's Daughter Loc Butter
• Eco Styler Olive Oil Styling Gel
• Let's Jam Conditioning & Styling Gel (Extra Hold)

                                         

              

                                                  

Spray Bottle Recipe

• Protective style spray: 1/4 conditioner, 1/8 oils (any 3), 1tsp honey, 3 drops tea tree oil and fill with water
• Everyday spray: 1/4 aloe vera juice, 1/8 glycerin and fill with water

Of this list I think only 3 products contain either silicones, parabens, petroleum or mineral oil (Miss Jessie's Curly Buttercreme, Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner and Let's Jam Conditioning & Styling Gel) the rest, I believe, are 100% natural (correct me if I'm wrong!). I plan to find substitutes for these 3 products and if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments below. 

I would also love to hear your experiences with products, things that have helped you on your journey and any recipes you think are a must try. My main issue is moisture retention so any tips with that will be greatly appreciated.

Healthy hair is happy hair :)