Those who know me know that I love a good haircut and I have cut my hair on several occasions, both DIY and professionally. Since being natural, I've always had my hair straightened before getting it cut but this time I decided I was going to do something different. In essence I wanted a second big chop but as I don't have the cojones to rock an Amber Rose, I decided I would go for something slightly longer but just as stylish.
I wish I was that brave.
So there I was looking for a good hairdresser who could cut natural hair in its natural state and I soon learned something: the prices were discriminatory. I searched in both the UK and the USA and learned one thing: hairdressers that cater to black hair sometimes charge three times as much to cut natural hair as they do to cut straight/relaxed hair!
At first I was sure I was doing something wrong, surely an Afro hairdresser wouldn't charge more to cut my hair just because it was in its natural state, that would be ridiculous right? Wrong! Every single price list I looked up online and quote I called in to obtain showed a huge discrepancy in price. In some instances I even found that getting my hair washed, straightened and cut would be cheaper than a wash and cut on natural hair!
The salon/hairdresser/hair shop has historically been somewhat of a sanctuary for black women, a place where we go knowing that there's an unspoken solidarity, that this was the only locale that could 'handle' our hair and that the fact that you were here meant that regardless of shade, you were black.
Black salon culture depicted in "How To Get Away With Murder"
It's bad enough that as black women we face discrimination in EVERY instance from other ethnicities and that within our own ethnicity we deal with colourism, but to walk into an Afro salon and be told that they are unable to dress natural hair or that you have to pay two to three times as much unless you opt for a form of straightening procedure is simply unacceptable! Every hairdresser/stylist in an Afro hair salon should know how to dress natural hair, treatments like relaxers and dyes are optional, what grows out of our scalp is not, that should be their basic hair dressing skills.
Naysayers will say I'm over reacting or that it's not that big a deal but it is a big deal when someone with a silkier texture or a looser curl pattern isn't required to straighten their hair before getting it cut, or when said customer is not required to pay a 'it's too kinky' charge! #ThatIsAll #RantOver
As I write this post my heart is heavy. I have been feeling a mixture of hurt and rage for the past few hours and I'm still unsure when I will remember to feel anything else. This post may fluctuate in tone as I write it, please bear with me. Also, the videos in this post are quite graphic so view with caution.
As I'm sure you have all heard and seen by now, Alton Sterling was executed by police officers in Baton Rouge, Louisiana on the 5th of July 2016. As we (the public) were trying to decipher the details surrounding the event and processing the reckless way in which his life was taken, news of Philando Castile's murder in Falcon Heights, Minnesota, again, by a trigger happy police officer on the 6th of July 2016, began to spread. Philando, who was pulled over for a broken tail light, was shot in front of his girlfriend and 4 year old daughter.
Rest in peace Philando Castile & Alton Sterling
In all of this, the National Rifle Association of America (NRA) who typically would have been all over this case due to the unlawful shooting of a man who is licensed to carry a firearm, are nowhere to be found. Why you ask? Well it's pretty obvious, Philando Castile is black and "gun ownership is largely built on white identity".
I usually steer clear of social media when world events happen because I find the trolls and ignoramuses very draining but today I needed the comfort of knowing that I wasn't alone in my grief. I can't tell you what it was about Alton Sterling's murder that hit me more than the countless others but whatever it was cut deeper than any event before. Although the video is graphic, I am not new to blood and death and therefore not as affected by those aspects as your average Joe might be.
What did affect me could be the fact that as soon as I saw the police in that video clip I knew Alton was going to die. Or the fact that they treated him so aggressively before the shooting. Or maybe it was the ease with which the police officers removed their guns from their holsters and placed them directly on Alton's chest. Or the fact that poor Alton who was pressed down by the weight of two police officers was expected to lay completely still after just having the wind knocked out of him. Or it could have been that as a black woman I know that Alton was fully aware of what a perilous situation he was in and therefore probably only shifted slightly because it was absolutely necessary to free up his airway. Or the fact that the officers who had the guns held at point blank range on Alton's chest felt that one bullet through a vital organ in his chest cavity wasn't enough and therefore felt the need to fire 5-6 shots in order to 'feel safe'.
That's definitely it. The fact that, for the first time, I realised that these officers are actually SCARED. They see a black man and feel FEAR, so much so that they shoot first. They are not scared of other white people, which is why they have the patience and diligence to talk down a white person brandishing a weapon, but when faced with a black person armed or unarmed, these police officers who have gone through rigorous training (an assumption on my part) become cowards and shoot. I wasn't prepared for that. I wasn't prepared to SEE that. That's when I got mad.
How DARE you be a coward and swear to protect others? How DARE you not just piss your pants like other scared people and instead, handle a weapon? How DARE you use your fear as an excuse to kill another human? How DARE you kill someone in cold blood and make excuses? How DARE you be rewarded with freedom by the judicial system for your cowardice? How bloody DARE you?!
So here I sit, trying to understand why after so many years it seems we haven't made enough progress to protect our lives, when a video of police brutality against black youths in the UK begins to circulate on Twitter. The responses added to my rage. Many white British people said things along the lines of "Nobody died though" and "British police aren't racist like the Americans". And herein lies the problem. That false sense of security that people keep using to excuse injustice against black people. Why must we (black people) DIE before you recognise that our lives, our very existence is being treated with so much disregard! Why do you feel that a black boy held down by 4 police officers and being repeatedly kneed in the stomach is ok as long as he isn't shot?
These are the questions I posed to one such tweeter:
White British Man: Did they murder him in front of his daughter? No. (in justification to the video in question)
Me: You need to see death before you recognise racism? You're part of the problem.
WBM: Hey, did I say it was ok? No it's disgusting, but none of those officers behaved like the American officers
Me: Do you see any respect for these men's wellbeing in that video? Making excuses is part of the problem. As a black person let me tell you that the only difference in the way we are treated by the police is the presence of guns.
(Fast forward a few tweets)
WBM: Hmmm, you're right but I still don't think the British police are as bad as the Americans, it's not really a thing here.
Me: If you don't think it's a 'thing', we (UK) are very good at disguising it. It's defo a 'thing' in my (Black British) community.
WBM: I've never seen it.
Do you see the problem here? I, a black woman, is telling a white man that these videos of the conduct of police officers in the US is only one step removed from the conduct of police officers in England and a white man who has no experience on the matter at hand is telling me British police are better? How? Based on his white privileged experiences. Does that even make sense? Why is it so hard for some white people to understand that if everybody was being treated the way black people are, then racism wouldn't exist and that since it does, white people can never be victims of it and therefore cannot compare their personal experiences to that of a black person?
Let me enlighten you real quick:
* The ONLY reason America APPEARS worse than England is because most police officers in England don't carry guns, this is about to change. * Being 'better' than the US is not enough, this is not a competition of who can treat black people worse. Racism is racism.
* The ATTITUDE towards black people is the same and maybe even worse! In the US, African Americans are seen as 'less-than' but they are a part of America; in England black people are ALL seen as immigrants (regardless of nationality) and therefore not only are black people seen as 'less-than' but they are also expected to "f**k off and go back to your country" making their rights in England even more fragile e.g. British citizens who are convicted of a crime are being stripped of their nationality and being deported to the countries their parents originated from (which they themselves may have never visited in their lives) after paying their debt to society in prison. Why? You're black so you're never really British.
* Despite the fact that most British police officers do not carry guns, there is an astounding number of deaths in police custody.
* Black British communities are just as fearful of the police as African American communities.
* In my personal experience, police officers in England are very systematic about removing mobile phones from situations where things might get ugly.
* White people who are not exposed to this environment are blissfully unaware of the conduct of police officers.
* Just because most white people haven't experienced police brutality does not negate its existence. Such is the nature of systematic racism, it doesn't affect white people.
* When black people are telling you what they face every day, LISTEN!
* There is nothing worse than people who pretend they don't know racism exists.
* If you are making excuses for any act labelled racist by a victim of racism, YOU are part of the problem.
* If you are justifying the murders of black people at the hands of the police, YOU too do not value black lives making you a racist.
* If you don't understand why a police officer killing a black person is not equivalent to/justified by black on black crime then YOU too are part of the problem.
* The information about the treatment of black people in England at the hands of the police doesn't get on the national news until there's a riot e.g. 2011 London Riots.
* The numbers of deaths at the hands of police officers may be less in England but there are also fewer black people in England (3.5%) than there are in the US (12.6%).
* Although the deaths of black people at the hands of police officers in America has only recently gained worldwide attention, they have been happening for many, many years.
I am so sick and tired of seeing all these excuses made for police officers who endanger black people! If protecting themselves is more important to them than protecting the communities they serve then being a police officer is the wrong career path for them. If you agree that #BlackLivesMatter then you should be against the actions of murderous and racist police officers. Period.
I do pray that I see a change but if truth be told, I feel helpless. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of black people being reduced to a hashtag. I'm tired of statements made by the likes of Malcom X and Mohammed Ali in the 1950's still being relevant today. I'm tired of the statistics indicating that black people are dying at the same rate in 2016 as they were when slavery was legal. I'm tired of having a target on my back because of my skin colour. I'm tired of people that look like me being killed for no reason. I'm just so tired...
1.If you want something, go and get it: I
was taught that nothing was impossible as long as I was ready to work for it.
2.Enjoy your childhood: Boy did I
take that advice and run with it! Good times :)
3.Not everyone can be your friend: I accepted
from an early age that some people would like me and some
wouldn't so I never wasted time or tears on the latter.
4.You are black: This may seem like a
pointless statement but in order to survive institutional
racism, the colour of my skin and the prejudices that came with that had to be
highlighted.
5.Knowledge is power and therefore an
education is essential: My parents never told me what to study or
which knowledge would benefit me but they instilled the hunger for
knowledge in me and it has served me well.
6.The things you do today will affect
your tomorrow: This made me think twice before doing anything stupid.
7.Common sense is more important that
getting A's at school: Common sense really isn't common.
8.Seize every opportunity: This is
probably the best advice I was given by someone outside my family, namely, a
teacher. Taking this advice to heart has allowed me to lead an amazing life
with so many unconventional experiences.
9.It's not everything that you see that
you must say: Some things are just not meant to be passed on.
10. I love you just the way you are: This was hammered
into my head before I would reply 'I love you too' and has allowed me to always
remain confident in who I am as a person.
First of all, there is no such thing as 'Talking White', 'white' is not a language.
The fact that stereotypical 'ghetto behaviour' is what many people associate with being black and that anyone who doesn't conform to this stereotype is seen as a sell out is simply disgusting. In the words of Nas:
"Before we came to this country
We were kings and queens, never porch monkeys!
There were empires in Africa called Kush
Timbuktu, where every race came to get books
To learn from black teachers who taught Greeks and Romans"
'I Can' from the 'God's Son' album
Even in history books (as modified as they may be) my ancestors were educated people. Black people as a whole have struggled for too many years and shed too much blood in order for us to be entitled to an education outside of the mother land; to have the European languages we have been educated in spoken incorrectly makes all their efforts seem futile. The funniest thing is that the people who accuse others of 'Talking White' are the same people who can't speak any language (African) that would allow them to 'Talk Black'! *rolls eyes*
Secondly, 'An average black girl'? What does that even mean? In an ethnicity with so many variations in shade, background and culture what does the 'average' look like?
I don't know what black women did to receive so much backlash from the world. Time and time again they have been the backbone and support system to changing history and to creating amazing men as both mothers and wives. Through all storms black women have stood firm, unwavering in their determination to make the next generation better, yet somehow, the people they have been so strong for have become the same people who have shown the most disdain for them. I'm not saying black women should be worshipped but definitely appreciated, if not by the whole world, at least by fellow black people.
I wish more black people would embrace the greatness and strength of our people instead of constantly trying to find a way to belittle and segregate one another. Can we just live?!
"Colourism: Prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group." OxfordDictionaries.com
Personally I have never had to deal with colourism and as a result I was a little shocked to realise how big of an issue it was. Growing up I was a member of the only black family in my town so I had more issues with racism than colourism.
My family is very diverse and as such I have always been around family from all over the world and whom are all different shades ranging from white to black. As a child I was predominantly around my mixed race cousins and white friends but never was I made to feel ugly or less worthy because of my complexion.
This is more or less what my family looks like!
I later moved into the heart of London where multiculturalism is the norm and even then the only brief encounter I had with colourism was a myth (or at least that's what I thought it was back then...) that black boys only wanted to date mixed race girls. I believed it was a myth because I had many black male friends who all dated black girls and my black girl friends never had an issue finding a date.
Fast forward 10 or so years, I now understood complexion jokes in movies, "The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice" now seemed like a segregational statement, 'School Daze' was no longer just a funny movie and I become overall more conscious. This is when I truly began to understand just how serious and real the problem of colourism is. Even at this point however, colourism didn't directly affect me and seeing hashtags like #TeamLightSkin and #TeamDarkskin on social networks was as stupid and meaningless to me as the cinnamon challenge.
Scene from 'School Daze': War between light & dark skinned girls
As I am currently at the age of settling down and starting a family, I have started thinking of issues that I could possibly face in the pursuit of creating a happy home. I've been thinking of parenting and the best way to raise a well rounded individual and issues that were previously of little importance to me are now up for review. It occurred to me that my child may be that 'silly' person that needs to tweet their every move to feel important or become obsessed with a celebrity or be that girl that believes a UK size 8 (US size 2) is fat; these are all things that I have never experienced or felt. How do you teach a child that self worth is not based on Instagram likes?
Imagine this was your daughter?! My biggest nightmare!
I have always found it ridiculous that people who looked black to the world would go out of their way to call themselves 'mixed' or tell you "My great-grandad was white/chinese/indian" but understanding the existance of colourism doesn't make it sound as silly to me as it previously did. Colourism, even in its Oxford Dictionaries definition, appears to only affect dark skinned girls but as I was watching 'Light Girls' after having previously watched 'Dark Girls' my heart broke at the idea that my little girl, whether her skin is light or dark, could one day face these struggles based solely on a genetic predetermination she had no control over. That my son could subconsciously have a negative outlook on black women even though he loved those in his bloodline. As if living with racism every day wasn't enough of a burden!
'Dark Girls' trailer (2011)
How am I to prepare my children against the same people they are supposed to be able to stand side by side with to fight for equality of races? How do you explain to a child that not only are other races going to look down on them but that there was classism based on skin tone within their own race? My mum is the colour of brown sugar and my dad the colour of chocolate, I see myself as a perfect blend of the two and have always been made to feel as such; how then can I relate to the feeling a person gets from being the 'wrong' shade of black?
'Light Girls' trailer (2014)
Colourism dates back before the brown paper bag tests (Google it!) and it angers me that colonialism and slavery has left such deep wounds in not only the black race but in other races as well. Finding a cream or lotion in Bankok, Thailand without a lightening agent is like finding money on the street, it happens but very rarely. Lightening products are sold just as freely in supermarkets in Abuja, Nigeria. India is notorious for its skin tone segregation especially when casting for Bollywood movies. In Japan people literally paint their faces white to remove the pigmented appearance of their skin.
Bleaching cream billboard advertisement
I can't even imagine what hating the skin you're in feels like, it's a concept that is quite hard for me to grasp. Outside of the institutional racism that I face every day as a black woman, I have also experienced violent racism but never have I hated myself or my skin colour. Ironically, this could be BECAUSE I grew up around white people. The white people I encountered who were not racist were the first to comment on how beautiful my skin was so I grew up accepting that some caucasians would like me and some wouldn't, either way there was nothing wrong with me and unless they threatened my wellbeing, how they felt about me was their problem and not mine.
This is something I hope I can teach my children, how to love themselves irrespective of outside opinions and to allow others to live their lives as they choose instead of criticising or judging them based on their differences/choices.
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
I am so angry right now I hope I can type coherently but please bear with me if my grammar and language becomes inappropriate *deep breath*
As you all know and as I previously blogged about there has been a series of riots in England that started in London as a result of the London Metropolitan Police shooting and killing an innocent man. The severity of these riots has lead to many 'educated' (I use the term loosely!) people to look into the underlying causes of these riots so that a solution to the mass violent attacks can be sought and a reoccurance can be prevented.
The issue was discussed on BBC Newsnight by presenter Emily Maitlis with historian David Starkey (racist mo***rf**ker!), author and broadcaster Dreda Say Mitchell and author of the book 'Chavs' Owen Jones.
I can't for the life of me explain how ANGRY and OUTRAGED I am at this imbecile's claims! I tell you the rage in my chest went straight to my head!!!
His whole argument that black 'bad' people have corrupted the white 'good' people just makes my blood boil! He's implying that black people are the root of all evil! WTF!!!
Then he brought in the age old argument that rap is the reason for violence. I don't remember any history books saying the slave traders used rap on the slave ships or Hitler spitting some bars before going to kill all those people! Rap also didn't start any of the World Wars so please spare me the 'rap = violence' argument! It may or may not contribute to it but so does bad living conditions and I don't hear that argument being used as a red card or a solution for that being sought!
I can't even express how angry I get when racist people use such an occasion to be openly racist! I do not in any way condone the violence that took place during those riots but to sweep the government's role under the carpet and blame Jamaican patois for it is just disgusting and f**king out of bloody order!!!! I have to commend both Emily and Owen because if only Dreda had objected to his views her opinion would have been ignored as a 'she's defending her people' type thing.
A very wise Youtube viewer posted this under a David Starkey video:
EVERY SATURDAY FOR NINE MONTHS OF THE YEAR, the police spend thousands of hours preventing guys from smashing up town centres and battering each other at FOOTBALL.
Not too many blacks and no Jamaican patois there. There isn't even any material benefit. But that's OK, eh?
MrDerekMullins
Another pinpointed the part of all this that that the a**e wipe missed:
Whites haven't become black, the reason they mix cultures so well is because they have a lot in common, from sexuality, to music, to humour, there's no difference in the way they are inside. Blacks in white communities become 'white', whites in black become 'black', it's being different shades of the same page.
scoocheeful
I'm glad some people are looking at the bigger picture here.
Some people are under the impression that racism in England is dead because there are many 'ethnic minorities' living here and this is a prime example of how real and current racism is in our society. Since the riots I've seen many 'go back to your country' and 'they are monkeys anyway' comments on social networking sites. If anything, it's just sad that people like David Lammy (MP for Tottenham) are stripped of their 'blackness' by the likes of David f**king Starkey in order to be accepted as a successful person.
Now that I have got that off my chest I want to share a video that actually shows a speaker whose brain cells are still fully active.
I apologize once again for my language, I edited some of it out but there are parts that needed it in order to convey my outrage.
Every year during Black History Month I get a little sad. I think about the status of black people in the world and I realize that for another year we are at the bottom of the food chain. Africa was and still is the richest nation in the world and somehow African's still live in unimaginable poverty.
I love being black (not that I had a choice lol!). The history, the culture, the stigma - all of it! You can say whatever you want about black people but you cannot deny, we are interesting and talented people. Did you know that the first surgeon to conduct heart surgery was black? Probably not. If I told you that the first rapper was black you look at me like I was dumb though and think "Obviously!".
Well why is it that as a black nation we do not promote all our achievements? (I don't know, I'm asking!) Why is it that it's only the negative parts that we promote?
It's easy to blame it on the 'white man' but ladies have you ever gone to a hairdressers and heard anything other than "Shaniqua stole Monique's man!" and "Did you hear Ms. Charlene's boy got arrested last night?". Men, have you been chilling with your boys for a lengthy period of time without discussing someone that's been arrested or making illegal money? This obviously doesn't apply to everyone but you can't deny that the majority of conversation among black people promotes the negative, even if it is just by discussing it.
It saddens me that black people are seen so negatively by the rest of the world when we have so much good in us. Now I'm fully aware that we are no saints and that there is no smoke without fire, unfortunately I will be the first to admit that in the streets of London, where there's a crime there normally is a black person involved but is it just me or whenever a black person is involved in anything negative it just seems so much worse?
For example, Tiger Woods. Don't get me wrong, I do not condone his behaviour in any way, shape or form but is he the first celebrity to cheat on his wife? How many footballers and actors have been doing much worse? We all know that if his wife had been black we probably would have never heard about it (I'm just saying what all of you are thinking!). Do you remember when Usher came out with his "I'm a sex addict" cra... i mean 'problem'? Who cared? It was just black Chilli he'd cheated on, no paparazzi there. In fact I only knew about it because he made a whole album discussing it and the sales for that were legendary!
And this brings me to the other cause of my sadness - racism is not dead. If you think it is you're either not from an 'ethnic minority' (I hate that term!) or you live under a rock!
As sad as this fact makes me, we as black people need to stop using the 'racism' card as an excuse to be lazy (yeah I said it!)! Too many black people complain about how hard it is to get a job and how hard it is to live in a predominantly white world etc. In what part of black history did you find the word 'easy'? Our race is built on hard work, endurance and survival so suck it up and do something constructive with yourself!
I few months back there was a programme on BBC called 'Welcome to Lagos'. BBC made a mockery of Nigerians and Facebook was rampant with jokes but I on the other hand had never been prouder of being a Nigerian in my life! There was a particular guy on the documentary who had a Agricultural Science degree but couldn't find a job anywhere (this is normal in such countries). He then went about explaining how he studied the meat market an noticed that all the animal blood was washed away so he came up with a scientific formula to turn the blood which was going to waste into farming by-products! Can you imagine!? This is what the black nation is built on, initiative, persistance and hard work!
In 1998 Tupac said "We ain't ready to see a black President" and now 12 years on we have one so doesn't that mean that the sky is the limit? We have black people in every field, male and female, and yes we do need to fight harder for these positions but isn't that what our ancestors faught for? Isn't that the whole point of celebrating Black History?
The opportunities are there so take them, work hard at them, be the best at them and spread the word about them. Enough with the negativity already, let's start thinking, acting and talking positively so that the rest of the world can also speak positively about us.
The top of that food chain is wondering why we are taking so long ;- )
