No Homo

I've been having a bit of writer's block and as a result I have like seven half written posts that I couldn't find the words to complete, sad times *sighs*. Moving on...

A while ago a trend that I really don't understand begun. After every flattering sentence typed on a social network to a person of the same sex came...

Examples include:

"Man looks like he's been living in gym! No homo."

"Your swagger is on point still. No homo" 

"I heard you man shut down that rave last night! That's my G right there! No homo"

And girls got involved too:

"You look really nice in that dress. No homo lol!"

"I love Nicki Minaj! No homo!"

Now I don't know what led these individuals to believe that paying a person of the same sex a compliment is a sign of homosexuality or why they feel that by typing 'no homo' at the end of their sentence somehow purifies them of homosexual tendencies but I do know it gets on my damn nerves! Especially since guys are acting more feminine every day! Am I the only one that has noticed that men are becoming less manly? Let me give some examples:

Skinny Jeans - I don't care how trendy it is for a man to walk around in sprayed on bottoms, nothing strips a man of his manhood as quick as a pair of skinny jeans!

Handbags - I don't care what fancy macho name you males have given this in order to justify your actions or what celebrity you are using as a proof that your manhood is in tact, handbags were made for females! STOP IT! If it's not a backpack or a briefcase your manhood is questionable.

Threading/waxing of eyebrows - Yes I noticed! You guys have taken grooming too far with this one mate. And you have the cheek to type 'no homo'! Get outta here!

'Money Over B***hes' - Now I know ya'll think you're so cool by dropping this line but let me give you a short journey into a female's mind (please note that this is a hustler's mentality not that of an upstanding citizen): 

To make money you are surrounded by males 

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Money should be used to impress the opposite sex in order to secure a mate and start a family

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That is not your aim so you just want to make money

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You like the attention other males give you for having money

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You are always surrounded by men and women don't interest you

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Damn, we lost another one...

A few of you guys may want to take some time out to re-evaluate your choice of lifestyle. Just Saying.

Sensitivity - Don't get me wrong, we ladies love a guy who can tap into his emotional side but to live there? C'mon man, where's your pride? Nothing is less attractive than a sulking male. Man up!

Toy Boys - I know women these days are more driven than men and as result you are more likely to find a woman with her stuff together (degree, job, car, house...) than a man but you men that live off your female counterparts, who did you sell your testicles to? You need those back asap!

JLS-inspired V-neck Tops - The fact that you even chose JLS as a style icon is disturbing. Just so you know, unless you are on stage, no amount of hours at the gym will make a visible pectoralis major with matching nipple in a public place acceptable or manly. We are smiling out of politeness but we are thinking, "Poor guy, lost his Y chromosome in '09. Hopefully one day he'll find a man to make him happy..."

Fans - All guys these days seem to be licking each other's arses in the most degrading of ways! Why are you repeatedly commenting on your boy's swagger and liking his every status? And those of you that make a beeline through a rave to greet a guy, SMH. Comments like "You don't know about my boy/G/don!" makes me very glad I don't because the love ya'll have for each other is a bit disturbing.

Dance buddies - Yeah, you see you man that are up in the rave dancing with/to each other? ALLOW IT! Straight kinky business. You don't think females wonder why you guys are shouting lyrics to each other when there are girls walking around in batty riders and crop tops? Or why you got aired at the end of the rave when trying to collect BB pins? I'll tell you - Kadiesha was pissed off that you made her wear her Beyonce best and waste lace front glue when you didn't pay her no mind all night!

Facial Piercings - So because Tupac and Lil Wayne did it all you Tom, Dick, Harry and Jeromes want to go ahead and start piercing your nose and lips yeah? ***Newsflash*** You ain't them and it ain't cool! That is all.

Pink - Unless it's a formal shirt, pink is not meant for males period! I don't care if it says "Suck my d**k!" on the front, it doesn't show cockiness, it just lets women know that you prefer a stronger jaw...

So there you have it, a few examples of how the number of women with XY genotype in the world are increasing and no amount of 'no homo' can disguise the fact that these days manly men are few and far between.

Not Rude, Honest. No Lesbo!