Sexual Chocolate

Everyone at one point or another gets tempted by Sexual Chocolate. Sexual Chocolate is that guy or girl that is so tempting yet, may come with consequences. Like chocolate, you may enjoy the experience but may regret the resulting cavities and/or calories.

We live in a generation where sex 'just happens'. There is no introduction of parents, no courting,  no waiting till marriage, no exchanging of cash (prostitution is a lucrative business!), no discussing the aftermath - it just happens. In some cases this may occur with a stranger but, more often than not, it's with a person you know and this is where the concept of 'friends with benefits' was born.

For those of you who don't know, a friend with benefits is a person you have a friendship with but allow to receive the benefits (usually sexual) of a boyfriend/girlfriend.

It sounds like a great deal, the person is your friend and you trust them so what better person to share your body with right? Wrong. As portrayed in the movie, one or both parties ALWAYS end up 'catching feelings'. This seems like an obvious outcome but to many, finding out they feel a little more than just 'friend love' after embarking on a sexual relationship, comes as a surprise.

You see the problem with Sexual Chocolate (the deal) is that it looks so good! You have this guy/girl that you really like as a person, are comfortable with and trust. You are both single (if you're not it's called cheating! *side eye*) and enjoy each others company but getting into a serious relationship, for whatever reason, isn't an option. However, you both have needs so why not satisfy those needs together?!

This arrangement may work for a while but in most cases it eventually turns sour and you're left dealing with the cavities (consequences). Any of the following is likely to occur:

• One person decides they want an official romantic relationship but the other person doesn't feel the same way
• One person finds a guy/girl they want to embark on a romantic relationship with and therefore wants out of the deal
• The relationship loses its 'no strings attached' edge and becomes complicated
• Both parties decide to make the relationship official but then it doesn't work out

In all these scenarios the overall outcome is the same, they can no longer be just friends (calories).

Not all people end up with cavities and/or calories but they are a very lucky few. Some people just get over it and resume being friends but how do you explain to your new partner that this friend is someone you once had regular sex with? Yeah I didn't think so. 

So is Sexual Chocolate worth losing a good friendship? That's the million dollar question but dayum, chocolate tastes so good... 

Not Rude, Honest ;)

90's Classics

Hey guys! I know it's been a while but life has got me so  busy! I've missed blogging so much so I'm going to make sure I don't take such a long break from it again.

Anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely love 90's music (as in, I'm obsessed!) so I thought I'd share some of my fave songs with ya'll. It wasn't easy but I managed to narrow it down.

I'm going to start with my favorite female artist of all time, Whitney Houston. She inspired me in so many different ways and I was distraught by her death. The 'My Love Is Your Love' album is still one of my favourite albums and the song with that title is definitely a banger. Rest in peace Whitney ♥

My favourite male artist of all time is Mr. Kelly and selecting one of his many 90's hits is practically impossible however I selected 'You Remind Me Of Something' because I don't think it gets the credit it deserves.

I love rap and Tupac is probably the reason. I remember my uncle used to play his music all the time but due to the explicit nature of his lyrics, 'Changes' was the one that got played most frequently around me. Rest in peace Tupac Shakur ♥

In my eyes Brandy could do no wrong in the 90's, between her musical career and starring as 'Moesha' she really was 'Sitting On Top Of The World'! 
♪ I'm just tryna be me, doing what I gotta do... ♪

I won many dance competitions in my youth because of this song, the beat always got me going. The message always stuck with me, 'Mo Money, Mo Problems'. Rest in peace Notorious B.I.G. ♥

This song inspired me to write one of my earliest blog posts, '♪ I don't get down on the first night! ♫'. Monica gave sound advice while sounding amazing on 'The First Night'.

Hip hop hasn't been the same since Missy Elliott took a break but I'm very pleased to hear that she's on the comeback. 'All N My Grill' will forever be a banger.

We can't discuss the 90's without mentioning the queen of R&B, Ms. Mary J Blige. She has an amazing voice and in 'Real Love' her emotions come through as always.

Arguably one of the best collaborations of all time, Brandy and Monica made history with 'The Boy Is Mine'.

Who would have thought that the hoodlum that rapped 'Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)' would one day become one of the richest rappers in the world and marry Beyonce?

Donnell Jones has a unique way of delivering R&B 'U Know What's Up?' was no different. Hearing this track always transports me back to simpler days. Rest in peace Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopez ♥

Usher was destined to be a star, even with that terrible stocking on his head you could tell from 'You Make Me Wanna' that his name would go down in R&B history. (Side note: he still hasn't redeemed himself for the unsatisfactory albums I complained about)

Mariah Carey may have become an annoying diva but the girl can sing and 'Always Be My Baby' is a vocal masterpiece.

Although he converts his pain into great songs, Joe is forever 2nd best in relationships and promises all sorts to become #1 in 'All The Things (Your Man Won't Do)'.

This is my JAM!!! No explanation need, Keith Sweat 'Twisted'.

I can only imagine what Aaliyah's music would be like if she was still here. 'Back and Forth' has a very authentic 90's sound and is still a party starter. Rest in peace Aaliyah ♥

Despite the evasion of taxes, Lauryn Hill is one of the most iconic female artists of all time and 'Everything Is Everything' is one of her many hits.

Last but not least, the undisputed king of pop, Michael Jackson. MJ has hits in every musical era he ever participated in and every song he has ever released has been a jam. I'm pretty sure I've said this before, 'Do You Remember The Time' is one of my favourite MJ tracks and the video is awesome. Rest in peace Michael Jackson ♥

You may have noticed that there were no bands mentioned in this post. This isn't to say that 90's bands didn't produce great music, it was simply because it would make this post helplessly long so I decided to highlight my favourite songs from 90's bands in another post.

While writing this post I realised just how many music icons we've lost in the last decade, it's so sad! I'm just glad they get to live on through their music and through fans like me. May they all rest in perfect peace and may their families be continually comforted. On behalf of me and the rest of the world, thank you for making great music ♥

Heels... Heels... And More Heels!

Viewing Facebook event photo albums is the equivalent of reading a 'Vogue: The Streets' edition of the fashion magazine. The albums show what people consider as current dress up attire, what outfits are being outplayed, what the high street stores are stocking and which celebrities are influencing the fashion in your area/Facebook friend circles.

One thing is very clear in the most recent albums I have viewed: shoes are becoming important. If like me you've appreciated footwear since the beginning of time you may be happy to hear that the rest of the world has finally caught on to the importance of footwear but another thing I have noticed is that many women do not actually understand shoes.

I come from a line of thinking where footwear, both male and female, make the outfit. You could have the nicest dress on but a bad pair of shoes can annihilate all your efforts. Although I have noticed many females have started wearing replicas of  high end designer shoes and taking embarrassingly ankle twisting pictures to prove it, it is clear that although the shoe itself is to die for, the way in which it is being worn may cause the designer to go into early retirement! Poor Mr. Louboutin seems to be getting it the most thanks to the trend set by the Kardashian sisters who by the way, get it right ALL the time.

Is it by force!?

But for the rest of us who truly love and understand shoes, here are some of my faves from the S/S 2012 collections, enjoy!

      

 Gucci Ophelie
T-strap Sandal

                                     

                                   Yves Saint Laurent
                                   Ingenue

 

                   

  

Charlotte Olympia
Leaf Me Alone

Giuseppe Zanotti
Colour Block Sandals

Christian Louboutin
Bollywoody

Christian Louboutin
Asteroid

Giuseppe Zanotti
E26086 001

           

                   Walter Steiger
                Swirl Sandal

Walter Steiger
Prunelle

Christian Louboutin
Summerissima

 

Alexander McQueen

                                           

                                          Giuseppe Zanotti
                                  E20343 003

                              

Iris van Harpen X United Nude
Crystallization

                                   

                                           Iris van Herpen X United Nude
                                    Couture Fang

    

Gianmarco Lorenzi
054

Kony 2012

Last night the social networking world exploded with emotions, from rage to sadness. The reason? Kony 2012.

Unless you are devoid of internet you probably already know what I'm talking about but just in case you don't here is a video that explains it better that I ever could.

While watching this video (when did Youtube start allowing uploaders more than 10mins in video length?) I went through an emotional rollercoaster, I felt everything from rage to indignation to shame. I know we live in an imperfect world and politicians are arseholes mainly responsible for their own countries but to see that they've known about this disgusting creature known as Joseph Kony for 10 years and did nothing just feels so callous! 

But then I felt ashamed. I'm a prime culprit of applying the 'out of sight, out of mind' rule. Fair enough I didn't know about Kony but I am fully aware that many countries have tyrants that use child soldiers, what have I ever done about it? I sat there watching young people going out of their way to make a difference and I felt selfish and ungrateful for not doing more to help countries like Uganda and taking my living conditions for granted.

I'm not saying I'm going to become a freedom fighter but I am definitely going to try to start doing my bit for humanity beyond donating food and clothes. I'm going to start by raising awareness to help stop Kony. 

This man has to be stopped! Although it may not solve the overall problem, it's a start.

#Kony2012

Photoshop Madness

The world of Twitter is truly an entertaining one and with its increasing popularity comes what I call 'Photoshop Madness'.

Twitter, although primarily a micro-blogging device, allows users to upload pictures using applications such as Lockers, YFrog and TwitPic. Most likely influenced by the appreciation males give to video vixens like Bria Myles, what has become very apparent, sometimes embarrassingly so, is the pressure some females feel to all look just like them. 

Baby got back!

Bria Myles

A lot of females have opted to follow in the steps of Buffy the Body and sign up to a gym. After a high protein diet and a few thousand crunches noticeable changes to the derrière have been reported. 

Buffy the Body's Bootynomics workout

A few females however, have decided that they want the gain without the pain and as a result have started using  image enhancement programmes such as Photoshop to... modify... their pictures.

Seriously!?

The convenience of having an app such as Instagram on mobiles has resulted in people selling dreams on the go.

                                                       

You'd think that someone trying to sell the public a dream would at least a) be able to Photoshop properly, improving the chances of the dream being successfully sold 

               

                   The sofa and table are moving for
                her hips yh (-__-)

                   

and b) delete all evidence of the original picture so that no one is tempted to expose you *side eye*

                 

                 The dream

The reality

I'm not sure what kind of world we are in these days but being bootylicious is not by force!

At least hide the original shot so you don't get found out no?

Can you imagine!? (-__-)

Photoshop has also been used to make drastic changes to body size/shape and skin tone. Although retouching has been done my magazines and photographers for years, they didn't make the changes to their subject's original appearance quite so drastic.

                                         

Don't be fooled, males also seem under pressure to impress the public and they too have gone to... extreme... measures to achieve the dream.

Is this what Jesus died for?

Is it that deep?

People need to stop living in a virtual world and start accepting themselves as they are. If you are not happy with the way you look or the life you live just work hard at making a change, Photoshopping your images will not make your life outside of the world wide web any better.

Other than the new trade of selling dreams, Twitter is indeed a fun place to be so follow me @notrude_honest!

Why Did I Get Married?

The world has been buzzing with the news that basketballer Kobe Bryant's divorce from Vanessa Bryan cost him an estimated $150 million.

Many people felt this was an unfair settlement and some, like sissy rapper Drake, made their opinion known.  Within his verse on Rick Ross' 'Stay Schemin' track Drake states "Kobe about to lose a hundred fifty M's, Kobe my n***a I hated it had to be him. B***h you wasn't with me shooting in the gym". On the other hand, many females flooded Twitter with indignation stating that although Vanessa wasn't with Kobe 'shooting in the gym', she was at home holding down the fort, cooking his meals, washing his clothes and looking after his children.

                

                    B***h you wasn't with me shooting in the gym

That's coz I was at home cooking, cleaning
& looking after yo kids!

Outrageous divorce settlements are more or less the norm in the world of celebrities but as per usual the question is: Is the person who doesn't directly earn the money entitled to leave the marriage with half (sometimes more!) of what their spouse has earned?

The financial losses associated with divorce have caused people to opt for prenuptial agreements but many people feel that a pre-nup is a sign that the person requesting it doesn't believe the marriage will last or that there is a financial motive to the nuptials. Personally I don't have anything against pre-nups, I feel they are exactly the same as a marriage certificate. 

Before ya'll begin to stone me let me explain. As a Christian I believe marriage between a man and a woman is sacred, there are many passages in the Bible to support this, however, nowhere in the Bible is a marriage certificate mentioned. A marriage certificate is a proof of matrimony and is only really needed in order to divide assets in case of divorce or death of a spouse. So how does this differ from a pre-nup which also is only valid at the point of divorce? The way I see it, if you have a problem with pre-nups you should also be against marriage certificates as they are both legal documents providing some kind of financial guarantee at the point of divorce.

I've heard many people argue that they want to get married because it is the will of God and my response to them is always the same - get married in your religious establishment but don't sign a marriage certificate! I can only speak for the Bible but I have never heard of any religious book stating the need for a marriage certificate therefore, if you are getting married for religious reasons and the security of leaving the marriage with money being married in the eyes of the law isn't your concern, you should happily avoid signing any contracts. No? I didn't think so! *side eye*

It's not what it looks like honey, we were just planking!

Now, you've signed your life away to a spouse and what you hoped was going to last till death did you part only lasted till the cheating swine your partner got their breath back from their adulterous session, do they owe you half of what they own?

My personal opinion on this matter varies from day to day. Contrary to common belief, in cases where 'marital unfaithfulness' has occured, the Bible does teach that divorce is possible although not advisable.

Matthew 19:9 - I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. 

Most days I feel like splitting assets down the middle is the fair thing to do and that its part of the risk you take when getting married. On other days I think it depends on how you came into the marriage, after all, all the two become one stuff is from a religious angle not a legal one. I think that whoever keeps the kids for the majority of the time should get the house and they should also get enough money to maintain the life to which they have been accustomed to. I do feel its somewhat unfair that someone who is broke not financially successful upon entering the marriage leaves it a millionaire, I mean come on, even if Vanessa had been working throughout her marriage would she have made $150M? Very unlikely.

My usual standpoint on break ups is, since I didn't set the terms to ya'll getting together, I cannot comment on the terms of your break up. Would I personally ask for or agree to a pre-nup? I'm 70/30 on 'no' for now but who knows!

Live, love and laugh people, that's what life is all about!