Baby Mama Drama

Someone on my FB recently put up a status stating that baby mama's shouldn't expect more from a waste man after they give birth than they did before. Naturally this caused an uproar from many people, some taking it personal, others missing the point and some simply not reading the status properly and therefore putting up an irrelevant argument. Personally I agreed with the statement 100%, how can you knowingly get with a waste man and expect him to transform into a serious individual over night?

An acquaintance of mine (you know I never reveal names!) recently had a baby and the status brought her to mind immediately. She had been seeing this guy on and off for a while, both deciding that a stable relationship wasn't really their thing and seeing other people in between (to each their own). I need to clearly state that this wasn't really an agreement as it was an outcome; one day he was there and they were having fun, the next he was ignoring her calls and they wouldn't speak for months and THEN he would just reappear and they would start where they left off (no comment!). Just over a year ago they decided they were going to be serious with each other and as a result became exclusive (or so she thought!).

Cut the long story short, after a few months she gets pregnant and the guy is adamant that he doesn't want it. The situation became quite complicated and as a result the guy was forced to confess that he had been lying about a lot of things, one of the things being that he wasn't single but in fact had a girlfriend he had been with for several years. Turns out he would only get in contact with the girl in question when he and his girlfriend were having issues! After his confession he must have felt releaved because he was now all hands on about being a daddy even though he had conveniently forgot to tell his girlfriend he was having a baby by another woman! (That's a whole different story!)

Flash forward 9 months and the baby is now here. Obviously during the pregnancy all the females around her had discussed how important it was for her to remain focused on her and her child and to forget any drama coming from the baby dad. She had been in full agreement and had given the independent woman speech "I don't care what he does or if he doesn't want to be with me, all I care about is me and my child blah blah blah" *rolls eyes*. You might want to note that at this point the girlfriend had found out (yes found out, she had not been told!) so all in all it was drama on a silver platter.

Unfortunately I had the displeasure of meeting this guy and, to put it mildly and as nicely as I can, I was NOT impressed. If the whole situation wasn't proof enough, he might as well have had the words 'WASTE MAN' tattooed on his forehead because even that couldn't have said it any louder! On top of that he was also rude and disrespectful so I knew this wasn't going to be a 'happily ever after' situation.

I hope I have clearly depicted an image of the situation so you fully understand that this dude never pretended to be something he's not. I mean even when he was lying to her he was still a waste man, when the truth came out the details were different but the essence was still the same, WASTE!

So please tell me why this girl started cussing and hyping and getting broken hearted after the child was born!? We had established he was waste from the get go so why on earth are you upset that he's waste now? Why am I seeing statuses about 'I thought you loved me', 'You're not doing what you said you would' and 'You bring too much drama to my life'? He was pretty clear where he stood if you ask me so why the 'I didn't know' act? What happened to 'I don't care if he doesn't want to be with me'?

And this is what my FB friend was trying to say on her status, if a guy is waste before you give birth why do you get upset and worked up over him when he continues to be waste after the baby is here? Why would you think a guy who is happy lying to you for years, continuously cheating on his girlfriend, having a baby behind his girlfriend's back and disrespecting you in front of everyone would become the perfect loving and doting baby daddy? If he was unreliable before what makes you think he will become reliable now? Its one thing if a guy pretends to be all these things and then changes when the baby is born but in the majority of these heartbroken statuses, that isn't the case!

The way I see it is this, if you want to have a baby with a waste man that's entirely your business but don't start crowding my FB newsfeed and BB updates with your 'heartache' because nobody who knows the situation is feeling sorry for you. If you want a guy who will respect you as the mother of his child and will be a decent baby daddy then ensure you are only sleeping with such guys.

Not rude, honest...