The Cycle

I was speaking to my 15 year old cousin the other day and it broke my heart that she didn’t believe in relationships! In her words: The guy does everything to get you - he calls every day, spends time with you, does everything you like for you and complements you – then you get together and the sweetness lasts until he knows you really like him. After that he starts acting up and you break up with him. He realizes you’re about to leave forever and he starts all his sweetness again. Because you love/like him so much you go back and then the cycle continues.

I have heard this view from many women and the sad reality is that this account is very accurate for most 21^st century relationships. Sadly I have to confess that my past relationship may have had something to do with my Little Rock’s view and she has now sworn not to be a victim to ‘The Cycle’ as it is ‘not her portion’!

I am by no means an expert in relationships since I was with the same person for years but from what I have seen happening around me the main problem seems to be this simple quote:

“I wanted him to be more that he was and he wanted me to be less than I am...” (or vice versa of course!)

Sometimes we see potential in a person that they don’t see in themselves and as a result we stick around hoping they will one day fulfil their potential, in the meantime we bring ourselves down to their level and work diligently to somehow make them see it. The reality is that very few people you will meet in this life who are not aware of their potential will ever realize it.

I believe in love. Regardless of the negativity around me I do believe that you can find that person who you can share your life with and your life will be better for it. The main problem I see is that the world has lied to us about love and that has lead to everyone losing focus and forgetting what love is supposed to look and be like. The biggest of these lies I think is “You have to fight for love!”

Love should never require a fight, it should be effortless and comforting not muscle building and soul draining!

So what I said to my Little Rock is “Go back to the basics. The Bible tells us what love looks like so follow that. If any one of these aspects is not fulfilled then it is not real love and you will be lead to ‘The Cycle’”

This passage has been made cheesy by its modern use but everything required for finding true love is right here. Instead of using it as a banner when you think you’ve found it, use it as a map that will lead you to it. 

Live, Love, Laugh...