Reach for the Stars!

I have had such a hectic month and I am glad to see it go! I also acquired a year to my age which to be honest was the worst birthday ever! But, moving on...

I have recently become obsessed with engagement rings! I can’t even explain what brought it on! I’m not even that eager to get married! Maybe it’s the fact that my birthday reminded me that I’m getting older or my constant feeling of broodiness or, which is my most likely conclusion, the fact that I have gone back to being the old me.

In the past 2 to 3 years I began to settle. I know it’s disgusting! I settled on which job I had, what food to eat, what clothes to wear and worst of all, what people I had around me. It wasn’t a conscious decision but I have always been told I was too something – too honest, too picky, too unrealistic, I aimed too high, I expected too much...

I’m not one to be bothered by people’s opinion of me but when everyone is saying the same thing you start to wonder if maybe you are indeed expecting too much from life and that maybe you are being unrealistic and will end up falling flat on your face. I was a ‘If it’s not exactly what I want, I don’t want anything’ kinda girl. But then I started to settle - so what if my job bored me out of my head, it paid the bills! So what if the red killer dress I saw online wasn’t in store, the blue one was cute too! So what if my friend was being moody, she's dealing with a breakup!

The problem with this acceptance of circumstances is that you stop living life and start coasting. You begin to not aim so high because ‘shit happens’ regardless and you don’t want to be disappointed. I started excepting people for who they were instead of surrounding myself with people that I could relate to. I became so understanding that I started to make excuses for peoples’ behaviour. I became so ‘nice’ even I couldn’t stand me!

And then one day a few weeks ago I had a very rude awakening. I was being taken for a d***head by someone I really cared about! My new understanding self had refused to see that the person in question was just not deserving of me in their life, not even as an acquaintance! I have this blessing and curse - I’m too loyal. I would go to the end of the earth to help someone I cared about and in the past three years people have taken huge advantage of this. On a normal day I would have just got rid of the person, friend or no friend, but my new understanding self gave in to the cries for help. Well on this given day I realized that I had turned into a person I didn’t like because, for all my new found niceness, I wasn’t happy. So I started to get rid and now I’m back to reaching for the stars and having zero tolerance for BS.

So back to the ring - I am aiming  for something that will make me seem very unrealistic due to its symbolism and its cost. I have decided that I WILL have a 1.5 carat round cut three stone diamond engagement ring with D grade colouring, VVS2 clarity and diamond encrusted platinum band preferably by Tacori. Now all I need to do is find my 6’1 and above, size foot 10, Armani suit wearing investment lawyer that will do the honours of paying for this ring! LOL!

No star is too far, make it happen!

My Star! 

"Free my dwarg" *rolls eyes*

Disclaimer

This post was not meant as an indirect to anyone and apologize in advance if it in any way offends you. This blog is all about how I feel and not documented facts so if you can't take it just press the red 'X' on the top right hand corner of your screen now. Thank you.

Has anyone else noticed that on statuses and  fields on networking profiles that require a description of yourself or a favourite quote now all say variations of "Free my dwarg"? Examples include:

* 3 my nigga

* Free ma homie

* 3 my boi

* Free Yungah Bullet

Am I the only person who feels that anyone known as 'Yungah Bullet' is best left behind bars?

I apologize in advance if Yungah Bullet is your brother but lets be real, if that name is an example of what he does while he is 'free', then by all means lock him up and throw away the damn key!

I have had people I know go to prison, some people are still serving time, but this 'free my nigga' crap is really pissing me off! How can anyone want a murderer to go free? 

There are many reasons for people to be sent to prison and to be honest I have become desensitized to many 'everyday' crimes. Things like fraud, dealing, shoplifting and driving without a licence are more or less the norm and I do feel that its a waste of paperwork, prison space and tax payers money to send such people to prison, just put them on tag or something! It won't stop them completely but it will reduce their activity. On the other hand, people that are going around killing other people's children and family members need to be locked up and left to rot!!! 

Personally I had no problem with gun crime a while ago because the victims were mostly people who had caused physical harm to their shooter or someone close to them. It was also done in fear of getting caught behind a street alley at the darkest hours of the night where anyone innocent wouldn't get hurt. These days people are shooting and stabbing in broad daylight over a stolen pencil!

A few months back a bunch of school kids chased a boy into Victoria Station in London and stabbed him to death. For those of you who don't know the station, it is a very large train station that has a lot of people, CCTV cameras and patrolling policemen there at every time of the day. I don't know what the boy did to them but he wasn't attacking them and the kids involved obviously had no fear of getting caught or of harming innocent people. I was therefore very happy when I heard they were all arrested to be charged.

So when one idiot brother/sister/friend/cousin/classmate puts "free my dwarg" as a status it infuriates me! Your 'dwarg' KILLED someone! 

(Deep breath)

I don't know what I would do if I was in a situation where someone was holding a gun to my face and I by some miracle managed to get it off them (actually I do - I would put a bullet in their knee cap so that they can't move, another in their stomach so that gastric acid can be released to burn their insides and drag them to somewhere where no one would find them so they can bleed to death! lol!) but that would be self defense!!! The kids nowadays are not defending themselves, they are being predators and when they proudly call themselves names like Yungah Bullet they need to be locked up for the safety of others!

I agree 100% with the stop-and-search policy (when the officers are not being racist that is!)! If the search means they confiscate a gun that could have sent a stray bullet towards my loved ones then search all you like!

I do pray for freedom for all the people who are wrongly imprisoned, those who were defrauding the government (they rob me of my money every month in taxes to fund wars!), the women who accidentally killed their abusive partner, the men who harmed an intruder to protect their family and the dealers who worked on a demand and supply basis only to make a buck without endangering innocent people (the way I see it a druggie comes to them - not that I think drug dealers are justified in their actions!). God forgive me if any of these are wrongly being prayed for.

But to the cold hearted murderers and rapists and paedophiles and armed robbers and child abusers and joy riders killing innocent bystanders and women/children traffickers and terrorists may you all rot in prison till you receive deliverance and repent for your ways. 

As for the fraudsters robbing hard working people of their money, I hope you realise that the victim doesn't always get the money back from the bank! I'm not sure if prison is quite the solution for your problem - as I said earlier with prison space deficiency and paperwork you are just a liability - but karma really is a bitch so good luck with her!

If you are one of those people with 'free whoever' on your profiles and statuses think twice about it. Fair enough you care about them but if the crime they committed was done against your family member would you still want them free? If not, pray for them to get deliverance and change their ways before they become free.

Not Rude, Honest...

Black Dating, sad but true...

As funny as this is ya'll can't deny that there are too many women like this in our society. It needs to stop!

Black History Month

Every year during Black History Month I get a little sad. I think about the status of black people in the world and I realize that for another year we are at the bottom of the food chain. Africa was and still is the richest nation in the world and somehow African's still live in unimaginable poverty.

I love being black (not that I had a choice lol!). The history, the culture, the stigma - all of it! You can say whatever you want about black people but you cannot deny, we are interesting and talented people. Did you know that the first surgeon to conduct heart surgery was black? Probably not. If I told you that the first rapper was black you look at me like I was dumb though and think "Obviously!".

Well why is it that as a black nation we do not promote all our achievements? (I don't know, I'm asking!) Why is it that it's only the negative parts that we promote? 

It's easy to blame it on the 'white man' but ladies have you ever gone to a hairdressers and heard anything other than "Shaniqua stole Monique's man!" and "Did you hear Ms. Charlene's boy got arrested last night?". Men, have you been chilling with your boys for a lengthy period of time without discussing someone that's been arrested or making illegal money? This obviously doesn't apply to everyone but you can't deny that the majority of conversation among black people promotes the negative, even if it is just by discussing it.

It saddens me that black people are seen so negatively by the rest of the world when we have so much good in us. Now I'm fully aware that we are no saints and that there is no smoke without fire, unfortunately I will be the first to admit that in the streets of London, where there's a crime there normally is a black person involved but is it just me or whenever a black person is involved in anything negative it just seems so much worse?

For example, Tiger Woods. Don't get me wrong, I do not condone his behaviour in any way, shape or form but is he the first celebrity to cheat on his wife? How many footballers and actors have been doing much worse? We all know that if his wife had been black we probably would have never heard about it (I'm just saying what all of you are thinking!). Do you remember when Usher came out with his "I'm a sex addict" cra... i mean 'problem'? Who cared? It was just black Chilli he'd cheated on, no paparazzi there. In fact I only knew about it because he made a whole album discussing it and the sales for that were legendary!

And this brings me to the other cause of my sadness - racism is not dead. If you think it is you're either not from an 'ethnic minority' (I hate that term!) or you live under a rock! 

As sad as this fact makes me, we as black people need to stop using the 'racism' card as an excuse to be lazy (yeah I said it!)! Too many black people complain about how hard it is to get a job and how hard it is to live in a predominantly white world etc. In what part of black history did you find the word 'easy'? Our race is built on hard work, endurance and survival so suck it up and do something constructive with yourself!

I few months back there was a programme on BBC called 'Welcome to Lagos'. BBC made a mockery of Nigerians and Facebook was rampant with jokes but I on the other hand had never been prouder of being a Nigerian in my life! There was a particular guy on the documentary who had a Agricultural Science degree but couldn't find a job anywhere (this is normal in such countries). He then went about explaining how he studied the meat market an noticed that all the animal blood was washed away so he came up with a scientific formula to turn the blood which was going to waste into farming by-products! Can you imagine!? This is what the black nation is built on, initiative, persistance and hard work!

In 1998 Tupac said "We ain't ready to see a black President" and now 12 years on we have one so doesn't that mean that the sky is the limit? We have black people in every field, male and female, and yes we do need to fight harder for these positions but isn't that what our ancestors faught for? Isn't that the whole point of celebrating Black History? 

The opportunities are there so take them, work hard at them, be the best at them and spread the word about them. Enough with the negativity already, let's start thinking, acting and talking positively so that the rest of the world can also speak positively about us.

The top of that food chain is wondering why we are taking so long ;- )

No Offence

I have recently embarked on quite an adventure and I’m meeting a lot of... erm... different people. I’ve moved around a lot in my life so I am used to adaptation and meeting people from different social upbringings but this particular guy honestly shocked me.

I’ve been having trouble sleeping so I’m quite exhausted. Sleep is like my best friend and without it I’m dysfunctional. I have tried many remedies to no avail so when this guy asked me how it was going I explained that nothing was working. His response was “I can put you to sleep”.

Now obviously I’m not slow so I kinda figured what he was saying to me but the rational part of me was saying “Girl you’ve got such a dirty mind, of course he doesn’t mean that! He wouldn’t dare!”

I was wrong. He meant it.

I’ve known this guy for about 5 weeks and we don’t know each other very well at all so the only conclusion I could come up with is that he thought I was the kind of person who would take him up on his offer.

Needless to say I was offended to the core and ensured he knew it. I need to explain that I’ve become a woman. I have set aside childish ways (most of the time!) and I’m acting like a mature individual. As a result this black boy was saved from my very rude and insulting reply. There’s ways to deal with ignorant people that does not require any Jackie Chan or Lequisha from the Bronx. I proceeded to explain very plainly that it was not ok to address anyone that way and that if he had said it to my face I would have gone ghetto on him.

He wasn’t even fazed! He just said he does this all the time and has received 4 offers as a result so it was worth a try to see what reaction he would get!

At that point my outrage subsided. It wasn’t an insult to me, he was just crazy. 

That I can deal with.

Serenity

I'm having a very hard day today. The Serenity prayer made me feel slightly better.


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.


Hope it helps you out too.
Happy Sunday

Foolish Bombers KMT!

Can somebody please explain to me why bombers target the public and not the politicians?

Today is Nigeria’s 50^th independence anniversary and I am among the people that think Nigeria has very little to celebrate but nevertheless, how dare these terrorists bomb up civilians! 

As a Nigerian they should be fully aware of the struggles that the majority of the population overcome every day and that for some people today is just a celebration of life despite the daily horrors. Who are these people that don’t realise that the politicians who are erroneously ruling the country in order to fill their own pockets obviously don’t care how many people die or suffer! Bombing the place and killing people has no effect whatsoever on these political devil workers!

So a piece of advice to any future terrorists or dumb bombers – please target the political buildings such as the House of Parliament or the White House or just their regular homes will do. If you really want to go down in history, kidnap their wives or assassinate their children but whatever you do, DO NOT target the civilians who are as angry at the circumstances as you are and are working instead of bombing because their brain cells are still fully intact.

That is all.

Yo, my size!

This a short note fuelled by frustration!

I was walking to my friend’s house when all I heard was “Yo, my size!” 

Now, I didn’t know what the hell that meant so I kept walking with a bit of a baffled expression on my face. Can you imagine the shock that took over me when I realized the guy was talking to ME and that the shout out was some sort of new pick up line! I literally chocked on my Blushing Apple Snapple (ya dun kno!)! 

Now I’ve heard many shout outs in my time the classic ‘Oi!’, ‘Hey shortie’(some people got the wrong post code!), the yardie ‘Wah gwarn my love!’, the Aff ‘Wetin dey happen?’ and the more polite ‘Excuse me, can I take a minute of your time?’ but ‘Yo, my size!’ SERIOUSLY!!!

Now first of all I was NOT his size! In fact my 5’3 frame enhanced with 4.5 inch heels made me clearly more than his size which was around 5’2! Secondly, where on earth did these guys get the idea that calling any woman ‘my size’ would get their attention, talk less their number!?

All I can do in this situation is quote Bossip ‘God take the wheel’ SMH

To, two, too, 2...

We are all aware that instant messaging and social networks like Facebook are basically a part of everyday life and due to the wonders of instant messaging we have all learned a way to type what we want to say in the shortest possible way.

“I’m having a party at my house tonight, hope to see you all there!”       

“I’m avn a party @ ma hse 2nyt, hpe 2 c ya’ll der!"

The problem I find these days is that those who fit the statistic of ‘1 in 5 children leave school without being able to read and write’ are becoming glaringly obvious! There is no point in having a bootilicious pic on your profile if your status says “I cnt wait 4 twonite, my cuz is coming two the party to!’  or a guy stunting on Miami beach with a pic caption saying ‘Chillin with the gyrls’!!!

The do-gooders of you out there will be saying “Maybe it was a typo!”, well my theory is that if the word written correctly is 5 letters long then there’s no point in writing the ‘txt language’ word that is  7 letters long! ‘Tonight’ cannot be typo-ed to ‘twonite’ or from ‘to’ to ‘two’!!!

My advice is that if you know anyone who has the reading and writing issues you need to have a quiet word with them and possibly teach them if you can. Do NOT make excuses for them! The likelihood is that they will meet someone like me who will have to set the record straight.

Not rude, honest...

♪ I don't get down on the first night! ♫

At the time that Monica sang that song I didn't even know what it was about but now it seems to be the Holy Grail of dating "To get down or not to get down on the first date?" or an extended version "How long before it's 'acceptable' to get down with your partner?" My take on this is based on many experiences and my personal feelings on the matter.

First of all, I do NOT think its ok to be getting down with a guy on the first date, and no it's not because of society or religion or any other excuse that makes a 16 year old go right ahead! The answer is more logical - you don't know him!!!

Now, I've heard many excuses "But we spoke for 10 hours a day for a week!" "We were friends in primary school!" "I've met his family, his brother dropped us at the cinema!" I don't care if ya'll were friends in the years BC, you still don't know them enough to go there.

A particular guy (no names) told me of his experience with a girl. Basically the story goes that they were acquaintances and started talking more often. On the day in question, they spent the whole day together indoors - take out, movie, play fight... you get the gist. So when they eventually got down on this given day, this guy states that he didn't want to tag her as 'easy' because they had after all known each other and spent the day together, they were comfortable...

The truth is ladies and gentlemen, this scenario is bogus and he should have saved his money on the take-out and pirate dvd!

No girl, I repeat, no girl is going to be comfortable enough with you after spending just a day with you and having random convo a few times to spread her legs unless she's, for lack of a better term, 'easy'!

The logic behind that is this - as women we are naturally self conscious, even the most confident of us! Also, we are taught at the age of 3 not to trust men! For a woman, letting a man experience that intimate side of her is a big deal! No matter how many previous partners she's had! As a result, a few convo's and a house date (regardless how many hours long) isn't going to make a woman trust you or comfortable enough to get down with you.

The problem nowadays is that guys have put a time limit in place to deem a girl 'serious'. This means that a girl  feels she has to wait for a specific amount of time before she can do her business. Unfortunately, girls have found a way around that one - sex with the ex!

A girl and guy I knew started dating. The girl was a good friend of mine and would fill me in on how everything was going (you know how we do!). They saw each other like twice a week and spoke on the phone every day so naturally after about 4 weeks they kinda knew everything about each other and had spent  many hours in each other's company. Problem was that the guy was a great believer of the 90 day rule.

For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically a rule that dictates that women should wait 3 months before giving up the 'goodies' otherwise they are 'easy'.

This rule meant that my girlfriend couldn't get down with this guy who she really liked and was feeling because she was scared he wouldn't take her seriously afterwards. But a girl has needs. And she satisfied them, with her ex!

Now please note the technicalities of this situation:

1) She isn't lying when she says she's not seeing anyone else - she doesn't communicate or date him it's straight sex!

2) The guy believes that because they ain't getting down yet and she isn't seeing anyone else she's wifey (I hate that term!) material

3) They are technically not together so even if he did find out she'd have the whole "You're not my man" speech ready and waiting to save face

Fellas believe it or not this is what the 90 day rule causes - deception!

At the top I said my reason for not agreeing with sex on the first date is because I don't think you can know a person well enough in that time. What that means is that for me, even if we have been talking everyday for three months and I've never spent physical time with you - I don't know you! If we've had a couple dates and speak once a week, after three months - I don't know you! If I didn't know after three months not to offer you Butterkist at the cinema coz you're allergic to nuts - I don't know you!

My solution is simple. Forget the damn 90 day rule and get to know the person. If you feel you know them well enough in a month, do your thing! If it takes more than three months to feel comfortable enough with the person, then wait. Don't follow these damn rules set in place in the 70's where everyone was getting frisky at the drop of a hat! Guys - if you have an issue with a girl being ready too soon, say something! Don't get down with her and then feel bad about going out with her because she 'gave it up' too soon.

We are in a society where sex is the norm so the only thing you need to worry about is making sure the guy is serious about you enough to wait till you guys know each other better or mature enough to handle a 'no strings attached' relationship, if that's what you're looking for. You will not find that out on the first date! Other than the obvious fact of respecting your body and yourself, nobody likes walking into a room to find everyone staring at you because your one-night-stand spilled the beans and labelled you.

My advice is simple - don't get down on the first night!

One size does NOT fit all!

I need to start by saying that I absolutely love fashion. I love clothes, shoes, jewellery, bags - the works! I like buying, wearing, seeing, sampling... if its, fashion I like it!

 Its this love for fashion that has inspired this note as certain things have really been annoying me for a while.

There was a time when clothes and shoes were only made in what was then deemed as 'average' sizes. This meant that if you were larger or smaller than the 'average' you were forced to do many alterations. Due to the developing nature of our race we have now been blessed with a tall, petite and plus size sections in every store so can someone please explain to me why on earth people are still wearing ill fitting clothes?

Examples include

* tall girls wearing ankle swingers

* busty girls with their boobs hanging out

* bootylicious girls displaying crack

* muscular guys wearing their little bro's jumper

* girls with size 8 feet squeezing into size 5's

* Guys who wear their jeans below their butt to hide the fact that they outgrew them 3 years ago

That is just a short list but you get my drift. Now this has been going on for years and you're probably wondering why I'm complaining now, one word - leggings!

More specifically jeggings but leggins too. Now I watch tv too and I know we live in a wannabe-celebrity era but seriously, why should the rest of us, the portion of us that have been to specsavers, have to suffer the disgusting - yeah I said it, disgusting - sights that are becoming a norm?

A few weeks back I was in west end minding my business and trying to enjoy a rain free day. I was having a great time with my oreo mcflurry (love that stuff) until a girl suffering from body dysmorphic disorder appeared in front of me. Now, she wasn't fat (I'm a fat-o-phobic, but that's another story) but its besides the point and people don't seem to get it! The problem was that she wasn't firm. I think I need to state that I don't agree with girls wearing leggings without a top long enough to cover your bum , but if you are going to do that then you really need to ensure you are toned. I repeat - toned! Not slim or curvatious or below a certain size - just toned! Celebrities put a lot of hours in the gym in order to wear leggings so what makes you special!?

The problem I have with jeggings in particular is that girls seem to forget that unlike jeans, jeggins will expose your cellulite, rolls and wobbly bits!

Girls also seem to love the jeggings and boob tube look which is a great look but leads to my other pet pieve. Now, I'm a busty girl myself and I fully understand how hard it is to get a top to fit you without looking like you're giving a peep show, many a time I have had to turn away from a top that would have looked great if only I had smaller boobs. So how is it that girls with huge boobs not only wear tops with everything hanging out, but tops that are clearly too small! If you got big boobs best believe they are not going unnoticed so why the Jodie Marsh look? And don't say that's probably the look they were going for because when they are ruining an otherwise classy dress, it's clearly not. If your seam is bussin' and the areola of your breast is on display then you obviously need a bigger size - and no, it will not fit better on Saturday!

Seriously, people need to realize one size does not fit all!!!

Hey!!!

You know how people say "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all", well they didn't consider the people that didn't think what they had to say was not nice till they saw another person's reaction!

I'm the person that says what everyone else is thinking, even when my input isn't required. I've been called rude many times so the aim of this page is to make my point - I'm not rude, I'm HONEST!!!